Saving the World's GREAT!

Chapter 46

2010. The number even looks science-fiction-y. And what a year it's been! What with the unprecedented amount and degree of catastrophic earthquakes, twisters, freezing temperatures, fires, snowfall, drought, and flooding all around the world. Anthropogenic? Who cares. Even if it wasn't, we are screwing up this world bad enough with the uneffingbelievable unaccountability and the most retarded regulations that policy makers and/or industry leaders seem to think are acceptable. What gives?!

We need to face up to the fact that we are heading towards another abyss. When one of the hugest MNC conglomerates of all time came out with a little movie in 2008 about a robot designed to compact our waste, people mostly just giggled and wondered what Eve and Wall-E's kids would look like. And when she tried to get some justice after the world's power players pissed away all of our resources including fresh water, any impending feeling of dread or doom was overlooked when we were really just hoping to see the sex scene between her and her fuzzy kangaroo-alien friends. (F'ing sex-crazed kids these days...) Now North Korea is causing a raucous again! With every breath we breathe, the threat of nuclear war seems closer than ever these days with everything being so unstable.

- Time is running out! -

Some environmentalists are called alarmists. Or fearmongers. Why can't anyone else really see that things have to change now. Change takes for EVER after all. And just like in the 1951 classic, it wasn't until the earth was on the BRINK of destruction before humanity realized that some big changes need to happen, and they need to happen quick. Even in more recent future depictions of the world, it is not hard to believe that only the most privileged & elite will have a snowball's chance in hell of surviving at all.

- REDUCTION NOW -

It's a key philosophy behind a registered Canadian political party, based out of BC. (of course). A lot of it makes sense. A lot more sense than the anarchy or riots or G8/G20 protests or pipeline bombings or destructive revolutions that most extremists tend to fall back on. Just waste less. One of the ideas that this party also puts to use is called Jevon's Paradox. It's an idea that's been around since the industrial revolution. It is alllll about energy efficiency and how as we "progress" towards more efficient ways of doing things, that only allows for more non-spent energy to be used on LESS efficient things, or at the very best: more demand for producing the whatever it is for ever-increasing consumption. Remember, less is more.

- be the change you want to see - even if that includes voting -

What we need is a leader like no other. We don't need an Obama or a Ban Ki-Moon or even an Oprah. Someone sent from out of this world - perhaps a messenger from God that can demand the world's attention might, might have some impact. Otherwise, a total restructuring of the UN with all the world players - philanthropists only please - should come together to realize that Peace Before Prosper is essential to taken to us to the attainable goal of less devastation. Yes, I fear a "Big Brother" state, but really, aren't we already pretty damn' well there?! Let's just try & keep those custodians working for us honest. Or shoot'm. (Kidding, Benito, you liar).

On the individual level, we are only really capable of so much. Some more than others, as after all, we are all born into circumstance. But those of us that can and are providing our planet with a fighting chance need to DOUBLE what they are outputting - while still keeping in mind the kunundrum that I mentioned earlier. However you look at it, there is an urgent necessity that we make drastic changes in the way each of us live our lives every single day.

the impossibility of sustainability - it's really only down to you

And on the flip-side we have people out there that are just plain ignorant. Or even worse: apathetic. The apathetic are worse because those are the people that are the 1st to change into something worse than someone who is ignorant: they become pirates. Pillagers, exploiters, and destroyers that especially don't give a damn' and only want to reap every sowed seed and rape every virgin (land) not yet seeded. These people are drains. They get fat and suck the positivity out of everything good in the world. Ignorant people only have a lack of parenting to blame.

A Few Suggestions

1 - turn the furnace down

2 - unplug your computer (for the rest of your life)

3 - unplug your tv (pick up a newspaper & kill a tree instead)

4 - increase gas prices so that you actually DO rethink your job, your commute, your life

5 - eat no meat, drink no bottled water

6 - free the commons, kill the boxstore

7 - de-militarize the military

8 - FIND A WORLD LEADER THAT IS WELL-RESPECTED GLOBALLY

9 - EDUCATE THE YOUTH TO BECOME NON-APATHETIC AND ARE ABLE TO BE THE CHANGE THAT IS NEEDED TODAY

10 - COMMIT THE WORLD TO MAKING THE EARTH A BETTER PLACE

My final plead.

None of us have a lot of time here on this earth. It takes generations upon generations to make any sort of significant progress from only a single generation worth of actions resulting in a devastating negative impact. So please, please, please try and not piss ALL your time away so your lack of imagination will lead us to the ultimate destruction of our planet.





Yay! for these:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1280011/
http://www.workersoftheworldrelax.org/

there you are (ch. 94)

are you there? you look like you're there. maybe "there" is farther away than what it appears to be. than i want it to be. than i need it to be. i am sure you are there. but it's so tough to tell.

others are there. there is far away though. it makes me want to GO there. god knows i wish i could. why can't i? well, i can. 1 day. soon? hopefully. in the MEAN time. and in between time? here you are! are you here? i like it when you are. you take the pain away. you make me feel like everything is going to be okay. i suppose there is no way of really knowing whether you are here as much as i think you are. except for having trust. trust is hard. especially when you think that it might be a good idea to go way over there where you think there are others you could trust more. i wouldn't even think of going there if i knew you were here. and you are here... right? but how long will you be here? if you go, i will not stop you. i might even try to go WITH you. especially if i know you know i will be there for you like you are here for me now. like you know that i will be there for you always. i've waited for you this long already and i think you know that i was always here for you. and there too. even then. even though you didn't need me there til now. like i need you. here now. here too.


i hope you hear what i am saying. there are things here worth being here for. you and i? we can go there together later. and if you do not or cannot be here, i might just have to go there. without you. to be with someone who can be here. i want it to be you who is there for me. but if you don't think you can be there, or here, i have trust that someone out there will be here. it's just a matter of finding out who that might be. and whether or not my time here - with you or without you - will run right out first.



ch.94 is related to another blog from quite a while back. It's a lot better. But I wasn't drunk when I wrote it.

LIFE! IS! PAIN!

When Dr. Clark came to class with bright pink hair one day in the Fall of '04, I was mildly impressed that someone of his stature was willing to make such a stark pronouncement about the importance of raising money for Cancer Research. And when the Engineering Head Shave happened a few weeks later, I never even paid too much attention about the people involved or the total amount of money raised. It was just Dr. Clark standing there in front of the class saying where we could go to donate, and how good he thinks he looks bald, or something...

In August 2009 I first started thinking about this blog and what I wanted to put into it. Generally, I was just thinking about how the many ways life is not fair: How some of us are born into circumstance, some of us abuse privilege, and how some of us are just insanely hard-working well-rounded people but eventually run into a series of unfortunate events leading to our ultimate demise. And even further - how some people just have this natural ability to go live their perfect happy lives, and have everything go right for them! GAH!!!! I find it somewhat frustrating that some people can just be so damn' happy all their lives and then the next guy can't help but to see nothing but the atrocities in this world (or worse yet: living in their own personal nightmare).

"Give me something worth crying over" was one of the phrases I had in my mind at the time, since, in general, I have had a relatively easy life. I've always had difficulty distinguishing between and relating to the degrees of all the different types of adversity in the world: the rampant destruction of our planet, the thoughtless brutality and hatred that exists in ohh soo many human relationships, and the intentional belligerent war-mongering and attacks on people that we don't even have *any* kind of relationship with at all. Insanity is a full time job.

And the year moved on. And I thought about different things. Sometimes I didn't think at all. One time I watched a Grey's Anatomy where 'trauma' was the theme. This was around the time that there was an apparent EMT & Paramedic shortage in Edmonton, according to the newspapers. It makes you wonder why so many people keep on driving into & over each other, yet still have this totally unfounded confidence that the ambulance will be there to make everything okay? Don't you think they would would be better off helping other people with REAL problems, rather than pulling dismembered and broken bodies out of twisted pieces of metal from the outrageous concept that we have come to label "accidents". There's no such thing as accidents, after all.

So with this, you get to thinking again: "There has been a lot of 'trauma' in my life." In '96, my cousin died in a car accident. She was 18. STARS Air Ambulance was even involved. Sad stuff. Inexcusable stuff. Nine years later a cousin died in a plane crash. He was 25. Even more sad stuff. It's really even hard to fathom carrying on at all when such random tragedies seem to occur to anyone at any time. I can't imagine how my aunts & uncles have coped. There have been other sad, sad stories in my life, but I think that those 2 take the cake. My Grandma was 76 and a smoker when she was diagnosed with cancer and lived mmm maybe 6 months after that? Still very sad. Especially for a 14 year old in a pretty close, very small family. Outside of the family, a friend from engineering, I found out, had recently taken his own life. Although I did not know him as well as I could have, I do know that he was a great man. He was involved in many activities and groups and was aware of many of the issues in the world. And then just like that. He's gone.

Personal tragedies, I am certain, trump the worst of world-wide adversity. World Hunger, Child Soldiers, HIV/AIDS, Global Warming, The Energy/Water crisis, Nuclear War. They all come second. That's why a lot of my prior 'priorities' seem a lot less important now. Having my Mom being diagnosed with ovarian cancer 2 months ago has really made me stop to think. Again. One more personal tragedy. One more hill to climb.

Focusing on negative things is not a healthy lifestyle choice. So we are trying to stay positive. There is soo much hope. There is soo much uncertainty!!! It does a guy's head in. Currently we are heading into our 3rd out of 6 treatments of chemotherapy this week. In December we have the surgery, then 3 more treatments after that taking us into early February. After that, god, it better be gone. Cuz otherwise, I don't know what I'll do. Focus on the positive. Other people have overcome worse.

I find strength through recent friends like Linda. She has been through some bad times in her life, but ALWAYS looks at the challenges she's had in the past and thrives off of the success of overcoming her own health problems. She has been really great support, especially early on. And even hearing ohhh sooo kind and sincere words from other friends like Laura, Matt(s), Joeal, Adam, Melissa, Thomas, and Sean to name a few, has been more helpful than they realize in my staying strong as I try my best to cope through this uncertain time. And it's not even me who's sick! So thanks. It's because of all the support I've received that I've been able to keep my perspective on the importance of staying in touch with my priorities (like the happiness and health of family). And it's because of this perspective that I have had a relatively easy time sacrificing things in my life like going to Pennywise, Justin Rutledge, Jeremy Fisher, and No Means No concerts. Or passing on checking out lectures by Maude Barlow or Stephen Lewis. Or going out drinking with pretty girls or going to keggers. Or even keeping working at my current job. Priorities. Family. Perspective. Support. Important stuff.

So now I look back on that first semester at uni and think to myself how absolutely terrific Dr. Clark is for being involved with the engineering head shave. A person usually can count the degrees of separation from bad things like cancer from his/her personal life. Not to mention, stigma makes people want to distance themselves with anything to do with the disease even more. Aside from my Grandma, I never really had to pay all that much attention to cancer and I was only a kid then. Aside from the breakthroughs on the news or the incredible stories (like Barb Tarbox), Dr. Clark provided one of the few channels to bring cancer into real life for me. Even if it was on a relatively distant, impersonal level.

Life can be painful. Pain of all sorts. All around the world. Anywhere you go. But thank you friends, family, for making this uncertain time all a little bit better. I am going to continue to stay positive and might even say a prayer tonight. If you could too, that would be great.

Ch. 70 "Life! Is! Pain!"

This title is inspired by a kid wearing shirt at a hardcore show. It had LIFE IS PAIN written in big white block letters on the back of a black t-shirt, I'm pretty sure at the 10 for 10 show.

A Gross Depiction of (In)Significant Life Lost

Splat!

Don't worry, that was just the sound of the 277th insect slamming head first into your windshield as you pile down the TransCanada at a buck forty this fine Friday afternoon.

Could you imagine if that was the way you were to die? FACE FIRST into a sheet of glass that has something like 6 million times your bodily mass and travels 20 times as fast as you. (Sure, I suppose a person could compare it to jumping from a 20 storey building into a nice asphalt/concrete surface, but that's usually done at one's own will.)

Or else how about that wasps nest under your deck. Frick'n wasps. Better gas'm. No different than Agent Orange in the Vietnam War. "Let's get them foreign buggers before they get US!" I am certain that phrase had been used somewhere in the history of that "war". To have your lungs filled, your bodied poisoned so to become some sort of lesser being, by the hands of another manipulateur. Gotta suck. Mosquitoes get it twice as bad since when they aren't having poison washed over their eyeballs in the middle of flight then they are most certainly going to have their entire featherlite body pulverized into something lesser than dust as your gigantic palm smacks into the side of your arm, leg, cheek.

(Children?) set ants ablaze with gasoline and matches, or the various parts of its segmented body are stretched and severed just as Atilla the Hun liked to do to his captors in Night of the Museum. Earthworms are stretched in much the same way, or else are sliced into segments and forced to slide into some other trajectory, regardless of where this worm might have originally been heading prior to your "doctoring". We blast our garden hoses into corners of the fence rails where Charlotte spins her web. We do this til her lungs are filled with water and collapse completely. Cutting the lawn has never been so deadly since those moth wings came fluttering out of the side of the machine in a flurry of grey snow.

and it snowballs

as we pave

through paradise

Snap! Mouse trap. Pop! There goes the gopher's head as that thin sharp wire cuts through its neck. Let's go bigger.

Maybe you don't like some kinds of birds. Maybe you think "gross, a pigeon - they're so smelly and gross!" But I would rather think of it as pigeon nevertheless, rather than something that once was a pigeon, only now with maggots & worms crawling around through its bloody smashed-in skull in the middle of the Shopper's Drug Mart parking lot. Bigger again.


Farmers need land. And with ever-growing mega-corporate farming needing more and more land to feed this starving world, the need to rape and pillage the earth grows, too. "All in a responsible matter", mind you, but RAPE AND PILLAGE NONE THE LESS. So in the process - habitat destruction. Biodiversity loss. species extinction. Plants & animals alike, this life is being carded out.

We kill for progress. We need wider highways and more extraction of every kind for the best possible products and services that money can by. SO WHAT?!?! if proportionately more bears or deer or moose are being mowed down on our highways as we encroach further and further into their habitat (with the hopes of escaping the habitat that we've grown to hate so much). So we "progress" and "succeed". How can you tell? We get fat. How do we get fat? We eat The Meat. Hormone-injected cattle that had been crammed into corrals and lined up for slaughtering loin by loin for your dinnertime enjoyment.

should have listened to your parents
and doubled up on
all your peas and carrots

Let's' go bigger.

Tar sands. 300 dead ducks right? Nope, try 1600. At the hands of man. Or lack of hands, possibly. Windmills kill more? We're not talking about windmills. We are talking about dying. Dying stinking deaths. With 13 heavy metals and numerous hydrocarbons seeping into your bloodstream, disabling your ability to breathe as a soup of chemicals fills your mouth and nose. The tailings ponds associated with the tar sands are not just killing the animals that habituate in them. Dr. Habibi and Dr. Schindler and Dr. O'Connor aren't just called Dr.'s for nothing. Each can describe in more way than one as to how this region is causing estrogen levels in minnows to be significantly altered or how this region is causing some of the rarest and proportionately UNACCEPTABLE cancers are being diagnosed amongst human beings. People are Dying. So much for ants and spiders, hey?

Let's all just start treating each other and this world we live in a little bit better.

Ch. 64.

“A man who cannot choose ceases to be a man"

With everyone's big & crazy goings-ons and incredibly exciting lives they are leading, I can't help to feel just a little bit underwhelmed.

Whether it be going for work terms in Scotland, starting completely new lives in Van, having wild weekends at "The Lake", learning new languages, riding a motorcycle, gallavanting between concerts in Pomona or Chicago or Geneva or Boston, or even taking the random trip to CALGARY for drinking. These things makes the life I am living feel Oh Just So Goddam Boring. And it's all I can do but to just sit & contemplate the begging question:

"What In God's Name Have You Done With Your Life, Ryan?!"

and

"Where Did It All Go Oh So Effing Wrong??!"

I only have a few ideas...

So now a good friend of mine is getting MARRIED. Talk about the ULTIMATELY exciting (life-altering) moment in a person's life, hey?? To be that happy with your own life, knowing that the only way that it could possibly get any better would be to share it with the one you love. Must be nice.

Maybe it's because I recently finished reading about Alex Delarge's life and how he came to his own decision to begin living a different life that I am contemplating all of this "What Have You Done With Your Life" stuff. Having the epiphany of growing up at the ripe old age of 18 seems...young, but like - good. Becoming all settled and complacent by this point in one's life actually sounds kinda nice. Then again I probably just think this because I feel soooo incredibly OLD right now, what with not being married, n' all, haha.

I don't see myself marrying any time soon. It's all I can do right now to just. keep. breathing. Let alone bringing someone else into my own messed up life, where we could share the most dearest of times? Perhaps this is why I am so incredibly anti-social and non-commital to even the most important people in my life. Perhaps I am barely keeping up at all in this uber-fast-paced son of a bitch of a world.

"Carrying on". But that seems so...what I have been doing for god oh so so long. Kinda not really toooo ummm fulfilling? Kinda not really what I feel like doing any more!

I am craving adventure. No, not in the ultra-violent in-and-out kroovy filled tolchocking sort of vesche, but I do indeed need something to give. And this being at a desk job for a little over a MONTH, haha. Lucky for me I get to go to CALGARY (ugghh) for my pal's BACHELOR PARTY this weekend, and WEDDING the next! (Helllllo, Bridesmaides!) And the real kicker is, I even know what it is that I want! It's just a matter of getting out of This Freaking Cycle of apathy and negativity and realize that despite how much I talk about "freedom" and "choice" I just need to shut the fuck up and go and get it.

SCREAMIN' For Change!

Chapter 29: Screamin' For Change!

By now I have read enough current events in the News, enough non-fiction 300 pagers about economics & the environment, and enough classic and modern dystopian novels to develop a bit of an opinion about the state of the world and where it is heading.

Call me pessimistic, call me sadistic, call me unreasonable. But when the science of the non-fictions, the imagination of the novels, and the reality of the current news events can be kept independent of each other, it's not hard to see how at least some plausible outcomes in the next 50 to 100 years that are talked about now might just come true. It's the cynic in me that realizes that it's really no wonder that our "Leaders" have only enough foresight to give themselves and their buddies a comfortable pension so that they might suffer the least in the earth's final days.

After all, makin' a change is a hard thing to do. Keynesian economics is a tough thing to grasp especially in times like these. "Stimulate this BITCH!" is the phrase that is uttered as half of the next EI cheque is spent on pain-numbing sensations such as alcohol consumption, drug ingestion, or sexual preoccupation. Such healthy things that a person keeps on living for. better days.

Then there's that bum on the street begging for "change". Maybe. Just maybe he doesn't want your nickels and dimes at all. Maybe his bottle collection and social security cheque is allowing him to subsist really quite reasonably. Maybe what he wants more than anything is for you to see what kind of greedy, unjustifiably inequitable world we are living in to let people - human beings - fall into the cracks like this in the first place. Maybe "Can you give me some CHANGE?" is really just a plea for you to open your eyes and realize the change that is needed in this world, and how you - the average every day citizen are the only way to make this change happen. Or maybe he's a crackhead.

So be that change you want to see. Write that letter. Heaven knows are policy writers are hopeless, and the government will have soo many cabinet shuffles in their term in office that noone really will be able to focus on getting appropriate solutions to the problems in any reasonable amount of time. Ride that bike. Even if the emission regulations and targets are changed such that the newest coal burning power plant will only be the equivalent as taking 7 million cars of the road, as opposed to the 11 million as originally promised. Take that pay cut. (What?) Get out of that labour-intensive resource-depleting bureaucratic heirerarchial institution run by pimps, fat-cats, and lawyers, and try doing something honest once in your life. I dare ya.

The 1st headline I hear as Canada sends the world leaders packin' after the 1 billion dollar G8/G20 summit this past weekend is that our country will become a supplier of Uranium to India. Now that's what I call change. If any of the volatile countries in the eastern world get a whiff of the stuff that makes a-bombs in the area - watch out! I guess if push comes to shove, Canada can always try to plead ignorance. Plus heaven knows we are dependent here on Indian immigrants to come and sustain our workforce with the declining Canadian population growth rate. CHANGE towards a more nuclear world is undesirable change. Change towards a more tolerant multi-cultural patchwork of Canadian pride is desirable change. But when this change comes at the cost of losing or replacing any of the historical attributes of what it means to be Canadian, I'm not so sure. Then again, Canadian history can prove to be pretty horrible as well.

The 2nd headline out of this big All-Important Billion Dollar Conference was about Women's rights/maternal health. Which happens to tie into everything that is needed for a positive change in this world, but especially with respect to the world population that could either plateau at 9 Billion or 14 Billion, depending on actions taken now. There have been enough studies for us to take action now to achieve the former. That's why Harper's hypocritical conditions suggested for this form of aid is especially unreasonable!! Let's get goin', World!!!

The 3rd and final headline I paid any attention to was about the riots. Well maybe these anarchists are the closest things we have to the most blatant form of civil disobedience we have out there screamin' for "change". True, most of this behaviour is totally unreasonable. But is there such a thing as "unreasonably necessary"? Doubt it. But One day there might be. These are just stepping stones for us getting to that point. The cynic in me says that anyone can be bought, at the cost of a variety of things: our children, our planet, our very own health. Paving over green zones and having McDonald's (again) for lunch while we let our kids be UNDER-educated in our system's schools is how we do this. If we could just change our focus. Our Priorities. Our lifestyles to really reasonable things like health, the environment, and the family, a more sustainable and enjoyable world would result. Guaranteed.

Below is a little flowchart (ch.76) that I created that ties in with "priorities" and the choices people make when it comes to any extra available money (if any). Since "changes" and "choices" are the 2 things that need to be realized early into this 21st Century, I thought I would pop it in with this blog.

Let's Get Extreme

Chapter 82: Let's Get Extreme!!!

(or: When Did You Become So Boring?)

Doing things that are extreme can be fun. They are often deemed by others to be "hardcore" or "deathly", thus bringing one's cool-0-meter to a an all new high. So for the people that care about things such as these, then NOT being afraid to have hobbies & interests that are considered extreme will likely become a beneficial/crucial part of your every day life.

The following are a few examples of extreme things that a person could do, if seeking to be the least bit non-conformist, or at the very least - a tad adventurous:

• Tattooing and piercing - get the neck tattoo. I hear spiderwebs are popular. Or the nipple ring. You too, ladies.
  
  
• Get Motorbiking. Cycling is truly more non-conformist, but that loud, raucous causing, 2-wheeled chopper will always be the epitome of rebel. Not to mention there is a degree of danger to it that screams "extreme", depending on, of course, which tattoo & piercing studio you go to.
  
  
• Go Sky Diving. This puts bungee jumping to shame. And let's face it: That helmet is wearing you for protection.
  
  
• Attend a G8/G20 summit. Bust some shit up. Try to not get arrested. Or do.
  
  

Being extreme will be closely associated with having a unique and inexplicable range of taste in things. He or she will take a great pleasure in a wide, wide spectrum of places, books, people, and things. The more polarized these interests are will be indicative of how truly A) out of his/her mind a person is or B) how confused he/she is about the priorities in his life. This spectrum of interests can include things like:

• Foods. Living the vegan/vegetarian life one month and then having nothing but The Cow the next. Eating banana peppers on tuna fish and peanut butter & ham sandwiches will help you to achieve this whole new level on the extreme-o-meter.
  
  
• Politics. Be a neo-ultraconservative greedy self-absorbed capitalist bastard, that actually cares about the environment (or says he does, anyways). In a more general sense, "Being Albertan but having Socialist Ideals" are 2 extremes that really make a person fairly unique. Think that former coke-head Tory MP: Rahim Jaffer.
  
  
• Ideals (of Freedom). Becoming an ignorant intellect requires that you spend some degree of time thinking about the world & all of its wonders and atrocities - and then become apathetic about it. Live in a blissful oblivion and love being footloose & carefree. Because Freedom can be a wonderful concept, especially if you believe that it exists at all and is not just another societal meme. In the meantime, pack your 2500 sq.ft. home with as many 56"-3D-LCD-HDTVs as you can afford and legitimize this excessive expense by buying yourself a solar panel and wearing fair trade organic "elephants need love too" t-shirt. Cuz believe it or not, kids: This is the world, the system, we live in. It's a self-propelled machine that we are all components of. And remember that "unless your free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!" as this component. Not to mention that subsistence living is even LESS fun than it sounds. Books take sooo long to read. Natural gas is an affordable commodity. And shopping at West Edmonton Mall is just soooooo much FUN!!!
  
  
• Music. The degree of separation between 90% of the music I listen to is outrageous. The most distinguishable differences of genres on my iPod could be classified as either melodic hardcore or Canadian folk music. These extremes are very diverse and really have no business being on the same mp3 player. Right now SNFU, Propagandhi, Pennywise, Bad Religion, and Screeching Weasel are on the playlist, along with Matthew Barber, Justin Rutledge, Neil Young, Ray LaMontagne, and David Gray. It's almost inconceivable. But it exists nevertheless. Extreme.
  
  
• Sex. Extreme sex. Hardcore SEX. Better than soft core after all! Any guy is pretty much wishing for this every hour of every day, so the second that he will find a woman that is willing to "submit" to anything a little bit more wild than the usual semi-pornographic plights is usually the moment that the guy is usually ready for marriage. At the same time, us idealistic sex-craving philanthropic chauvinistic metropolitan men may like to cry & scream about Female Liberation! and equal opportunity ...as long as it doesn't happen in our own bedroom. Or dungeon.
  
  
• Exercise. Excessive Exercise. Running marathons and loving a good cigarette afterward. Bench-pressing 3 times your body weight then picking up a six-pack on your way home. Playing hockey, but having more PIM than Ice Time. Oh. And don't forget about Crashed Ice. These things are extreme. Also, UFC is popular amongst kids these days, or so I hear.
  
  
• Seeing the World. Traveling to Africa. The Dark Continent. Where stereotypes and prejudice and mis-information runs rampant. Go there. Learn something. Come back. Teach something. God knows we are ignorant. When back at home, realize how much change can happen right outside your back door, so to speak. Having a good appreciation of your local community and its faults and good things can be enlightening too. Just. Get out there. Anywhere. Especially if you can't afford the airfare (or are too socially conscious about the environmental costs of air flight). There's always sailing...
  
  
• "Work". The last paradoxical/hypocritical suggestion I have regarding extreme lifestyle choices is giving yourself the opportunity to make conscious career decisions, inasmuch as having a thorough moral understanding of any implications of the "work" you are getting yourself involved with. Try: Working in a lumber yard while listing the Rainforest Action Network as a beneficiary in your will. Try: working in resource exploitation while "liking" the links that your "friend" Mike Hudema posts on his facebook profile. With your wages, buy a bike but keeping on commuting to work in your gas guzzler...
  

Without these things, a person tends to fall into the first circle of hell called Ennui. Others see him for what he is: a complacent, middle-aged working class office stooge with mortgage payments and mouths to feed and the rest of it. Apathy advances to a stage far beyond you ever thought possible in your younger years. Ideals fade away. And the positive re-enforcement allows one's sense of adventure to diminish as he falls deeper and deeper into the well of "routine work" and "just getting by". Hello shot gun barrel. Travel plans become a trip to your backyard patio after the fence gets painted and food becomes bland as you listen to the latest study on the Local News about salt being bad. Exercise is walking the dog and the motorbike turns into an SUV (hybrid? Yeah Right!). Or worse: mini-van. Sex is infrequent and fast. What you are left with is a few cd's from those exciting days that are fading from memory and perhaps a government that left you with a social support network that your mother-in-law deserves.

So my advice to you as I close out this blog:

Never grow up. Always go for the "bad" girl, eat lots of spicy food, and travel the globe as much as possible.

And if submitting to the expectations of our surrounding means
growing up
I'll try wholeheartedly to refuse

-satanic surfers

George Carlin does this all soo much better.

It takes two... doesn't it?

Chapter 57

It doesn't take much to get a reaction from most people by saying ludicrous or blasphemous or just plain stupid crap. And a guy can really earn himself a reputation by using his big yap in a repetitive fashion such that people really start to think: "Is this guy for real?!" With borderline common sense and a sliver of "knowing your audience", I find that I can really get away with saying some pretty wild stuff while still staying out of trouble. So when it comes to talking to members of the opposite sex who may not know me very well, I have to try & push the envelope a bit while taking care to not push things too TOO far. Especially early on.

But some girls are just so damn' difficult to talk to. You can be within 2m of them and feel the sexual tension between the two of you. And that's usually when your voice becomes completely stifled and lips totally parched. Blame the hot dry Alberta air if you want, but between the two of you, you both know that only relative humidity that matters is the relative humidity IN YOUR PANTS! (haha, made myself laugh)

It's pretty tough in asking out a girl. Especially when you happen to know that she is more likely than not way out of your league. But it still is just one of those things that just has to get done. And a guy has got to be careful or he may very well end up as "Just Friends" - and what guy really wants that?! Then again, some of the best long-term relationships - Hell, I'll say it: Marriages - are more likely to last when a deeper respect and friendship is in place between both parties from a very early stage.

Some girls that a guy asks out will turn out to be prissy conceited beotches. This is their shield. The shield that my confident charm and charismatic character help to penetrate.

Ha!

So what a guy really must figure out is whether the persistence, endurance, relentlessness, and (false) hope he is investing in will be worth it in the long run. Finding something more than just platonic respect in a companion. Keep on keeping on. Fool, give UP already! How long can a guy really cling on to a glimmer of a hope after all? And what if he invests in a significant amount of time persisting, enduring, provoking - all to just find out that she's, say, more into girls in the end! Bummer dude. Call it: character development.

I think what it comes down to in the end is The Height of the Bar, degree of intrigue she may offer, and to a lesser extent: alcohol tolerance. It would be nice if I had a clue in hell as to whether any of the investments made (quick-witted conversations, flattery, shaving) pay off at a much earlier time. Rather than finding out that she is seeing someone or is just exceptionally career-minded & has no time to waste on relationships/me. priorities, right? I think I might have dwelled on "priorities" once or twice through this blog of mine... Also, initiation is key. Wouldn't it be nice if she took the initiative? This seldom happens. And when it does, the guy is usually so incredibly thick the he doesn't even realize it whatsoever. Explicit Provoking. That is really the only answer. Thank you "facebook pokes" for opening up a whole new gateway of possibilities, as unseemly as they might be. So if the lack of initiative on her part is just a matter of the guy opening up his eyes and realizing what's happening - that's one thing! But if the impenetrable shield she has in place simply for the fact that she can't stand him (or her bar's set Just That Much Higher), well - that's another thing completely.

Scarlett Johannson is pretty.


Sidenote:

This blog is about having more than one person willing to invest in and build towards a more meaningful relationship, rather than just having the guy torment himself with aggravating relentless attempts at having a shot with someone he has no business having a shot with. That Said. I am going to try to say something that doesn't sound overly sensitive (for the Pisces I am) or overly critical of my friends or the Institution of the Roman Catholic Church.

All good Catholics, I would have thought, would be much more welcoming to non-Catholics than I ever saw growing up. Once an outsider, always an outsider. Unless you baptize, confirm, and go to church every Sunday? No thanks. But truly, there was a minuscule amount of inclusion through this institution. As above, it takes two parties to be willing to show an interest in each other if any sort of relationship is going to have a shot. The lack of willingness of the church and its followers to embrace - heck, even save a lost soul is a little bit underwhelming.

And further yet, as friends grow apart with time and distance, it is really very easy to go from changing your thinking to that friend being "someone you used to know". That's why I find it funny that more/better attempts aren't made - even between friends - to keep in touch about any goings-on that the other might find interesting. Way to go, pal! Ya know, I would have liked to go to that strip club with you guys, too!



Old Blogs Semi-Related:
http://eternalhappyness.blogspot.com/2008/04/wavelength.html
http://eternalhappyness.blogspot.com/2009/02/hole-filler.html

5 Simple Rules for Writing A Propagandhi Song (and becoming at least mildly successful).

1 - First and foremost, be sure to have excessive (but always appropriate) use of the F-word throughout each of the songs, even if it is at the end of the song and there is nothing left to do but just add a loud unadulterated and raw "F&#$!!!!".

2 - A healthy dose of satire is essential to a successful Propagandhi song. Denouncing anything corporate or industrial with plenty of ridicule and judgment is always a good bet.

3 - Try to come across as a passionate humanitarian that really "gets it" by writing songs that speak to local, regional, national, and international issues. Re-enforce this Global Citizen persona by listing non-fiction books about genocide or planetary destruction on your website and album sleeves, along with lists of web addresses for the wee teenies to check out with their newest i-phones. A few dystopian quotes from famous dead people may also help your cause. Better yet? Incorporate these quotes right into your songs.

4 - Come up with a reason (as reasonable as this reason may very well be) to become an expatriot. Re-think today's Canadian Values (of greed and pirateering) and compare them to values in other countries around the world. After a brief glimpse at this website I can tell you that the things on Canadians minds most of the times these days are sex-related, and although sex-related crimes and topics are totally heinous, remember that these problems are stemmed from a much deeper roots in the ways that we are raising our children and conforming to so much of the pop-culture bullshit that bombards us everywhere we go.

Canadians need to get a better idea of what there is to be so "nationalist" about, aside from the Winter Olympics, and a national sport where over-paid dumb jocks spend half of their season playing for 1 of 24 American-Based teams in their home arenas, while the 6 remaining Canadian teams spend any of their "off time" golfing in Phoenix or holidaying in Barcelona (when you miss playoffs especially). Aside from sport? I guess we have Celine Dion. Wait. Isn't she in Vegas? Shania? Switzerland? Bryan Adams?!?! Oh right! Justin Rutledge annnnnnd Propagandhi. Good bands. Hmmm...what else do we have... Healthcare. And the rocky mountains. Some of the Canadian landscape is pretty damn' terrific when we're not busy fucking it up.

5 - Never sell out and keep the songs for the kids and not for the labels to make a killing. So many times a label will tell you what to write and how to write it. Case in point: AFI was on Nitro til 2003 and have had pretty weird albums ever since then. I don't think Propagandhi will ever sell out.

Other Useful Tips For Writing a Propagandhi Song

I - Make sure the title of the song is sufficiently long like these classics:

"War Is Peace, Slavery Is Freedom, May All Your Interventions Be Humanitarian"
"Ordinary People Do Fucked-Up Things When Fucked up Things Become Ordinary"
"Stick the Fucking Flag Up Your Goddamn Ass, You Sonofabitch"

II - Use the words:

misery, love, indifference, poverty, suffering, disparity, repress, devastating, catastrophe, Jesus, church, FUCK, meat, machine, homophobe, capitalist, tragedy, solution.


III - Allow:

• 5-10% of the song to be filled with incomprehensible rage-filled fits of screaming
• 10-15% of the song to be filled with mad guitar shredding
• Allow room to be effing hilarious (not just over-the-top blasphemy/hyperbole/satire) when after all this song may very well reflect real fucking life more than you can ever imagine.
  

Now, click this and read:

We were all together in the pouring rain!
Solvents being passed around to dull the pain!
The air was choked with the dismal smell!
The reek of sadness and despair!
Minds fucked up beyond repair!


She said she just turned six.
She’s got some good jokes for a kid.
She’s working hard to avoid a woman bleeding from her teeth.
Her life goes on despite the fact
her mom sleeps fucked up on the cement.

She flashed a look, an image burnt into my mind!
I know that sinking feeling all too fucking well!
Shame! Frustration setting in!
Confusion that eats us inside out.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me!
I don’t know why she can’t wake up!”
Her life goes on despite the fact
Her mom lays fucked up on the cement.

It’s an ugly fucking world!

the incalculable effects have been calculated to you here today by the one and only:

Ch. 69

This is not what I signed up for...

There exists an air of arrogance within the engineering discipline. A sense of entitlement and self-righteousness that might be all too expectantly acceptable. I mean, who else can spend the time learning a whole other language and then using it to come up with the most intricate solutions to solve some of the world's most pressing problems. Like cleaning water. Or making electricity. Doctors and lawyers memorize Latin terminology and ... business grads? Well, they are all just capitalistic pigs with hearts of stone.

So, become an engineer. Or try to anyways. You can become a steward of society. Really, it's like the ultimate thankless service industry job. God knows that there is money in it, too. And for one year now, I have held my engineering degree while working as a box cutter, getting paid box cutter salaries.

In all honesty, it's not a bad job. Especially for a student working part-time, earning habit money and having few other expenses. At work, all you have to do is deal with a couple of ungracious or effing rude customers that come through the store from time to time and try to get along with your co-workers. The hardest part of that is getting over the condescending attitude of people that look down on box-cutters and realize that you are going to get paid well below your Earning Potential that you have hoped to be enjoying by now. Then again, living the good life of having minimal responsibilities & being accountable only to yourself is nothing to sneeze at. There's casual weekday drinking, affording to go out to shows, going on vacations, and the like. It's not all bad not having to worry about the pressures of a high-expectation engineering job.

But I hate it. It's a time-consumer and a head-do-er-inner. Every day that I cannot find a job I am actually interested in, is another day that I am not developing and using the skills that I went to school for, and not working towards that ever-important salary-booster called a P.Eng. I feel like it's eating into the best years of my life (although I know that in all honesty that those were between 1992 and 1996). In addition, this company - like many others - thrives on environmental devastation and corporate greed. It breaks your back and it eats your soul. Although, they did pay for me to get my teeth cleaned...

Everyone should have to go through it though. The service industry is atrocious and everywhere. Working in it gives the consumer a much better perspective of the hard work that goes into whatever commodity it is that's being sold. It also gives a person a reality check. Without it, you don't have as much of a clue about how nasty day-to-day interactions with some people can get. It makes you actually look at the cashier at the supermarket in the eye and say "thank-you" with a little bit more sincerity than you would otherwise. It will make you neater - no matter how neat you think you are, and it will help you watch exactly what kind and how big of a consumer you are. Especially when making service industry wages.

This wages thing blows my mind. To think that so much disparity exists between the different kinds of rich and the different kinds of poor in this world is just: GAH! We are all just people born into circumstance, after all. Next round you could be living in subsidized Projects Housing in Harlem or the slums of Bangladesh (surely, not only India and Africa have slums, hey?) Then there's the opposite extreme where even Edmonton Police are making upwards of $85K after only 5 years of service. "And then she became a cop." "Shut the fuck up!" I think in my next life I am going to become a successful rock star. But engineers really do alright too. Even Civil Grads, with no real experience! And ol' recession-proof Alberta, with all of it's Oilsands and industry needs these grads to help run projects!!! But I still can't get a job I want. Bastards!

Then again, I know I am not alone. At least one other engineer and one geophysicist I know are not working. Another mate with credits from NAIT, UofA, and GMCC is working at the bottle depot with no real aspirations to focus on a career in any of the areas he spent time studying in! Then the real motivated ones had jobs set before they were even graduated! I don't know how, aside from their good fortune, and to some extent, willingness to relocate.

If I go anywhere, it will have to be for something worth while. "Like a girl?!" "No, Ryan, not a girl." Well, we'll see. But a sweet gig where providing/treating water to people who would really appreciate it, or anything related to the environment would sure be sweet. If I could get a sweet deal like that, I wouldn't even care if my salary was double of what it was now, rather than triple, as it very well COULD be. Half it and send me to a well in Kenya, I would also be thrilled. And I'd probably be blogging about something more important like poverty, water resources , disparity & conflict or something!

My issues with not getting the work I want could be psychological. In that I am psychotic. I am complacent and apathetic and idiotic for not trying harder to get any fucking job that will help me use my degree. That, or perhaps employers just don't like me. Real possibility. What can a guy do?!

As intermediate box cutter, I am taking it for what it's worth as yet another stepping stone in character development. God knows I'm not enough of a character YET! There is nothing glamorous or prestigious about this job that gives me anything more than just that. One of the things that comes with a sweet-ass environmental engineering job (aside from the money & independent that it brings), is confidence in having/building relationships. A guy can feel a hell of a lot better about himself knowing that the girl that he is after won't laugh at him for being, say, a box cutter. Even with the prestige of an engineering job, I feel that the humility of the box cutter's realism will earn him bonus points with her. "Real Workin' Man" points, where blackberrying and e-mailing and sitting in the cushy office chair are out of the equation completely. One might even go as far as to call it "honest work". Then with that non-box cutter job and a real engineering job - she will immediately think to herself: "Oooh - Brains And Money. But when was the last time he washed that shirt?"

Alright, this is gonna have to do as I have to finish my 2nd beer and have to get up for work in just over 4 hours. I wonder what the Jobs section will look like in The Journal tomorrow...


ch. 80