I Won't See You Again Tonight, Pt. 7?

Hide. You know you will. Behind those big dark sunglasses you will remain. Nothing, nobody penetrating inward. But the power in those beautiful eyes to conquer and destroy, build and bless --- if they ever come off.

You are up to your neck in everything that makes you so appealing. so sexy. No room for anything else. Saturated and spent. Exhausted yet exhilarated! Living a life that is much to be desired. And shared only with the people in your life that you know that you will always be able to count on. And me? Barely breathing. But still alive! You induce vitality. That is probably why I like being around you so much. You make me feel alive. Who even needs breathing when you feel this alive?!?!

And you will be successful. You will be amazing. Even more than you are now. And you will leave the rest of us all feeling really, really, stupid. But proud to have known you. I feel stupid already. Mostly for feeling like this way about you. Why do any of us do this to ourselves? I suppose it has something to do with you just being so unbelievably breath-taking. Maybe I should really try and remember to breathe...

So consider this. There will come a day when it will be the last day we ever see each other again.

And you will become more perfect as I watch from a little ways back, as those big black sunglasses get dropped - but only for a minute and only from such a distance that that one special person will be able to have those beautiful blue eyes pierce his with full focus.

Or else you will be in my arms and we will be old. Where you dropped those sunglasses years ago and it was only you and me in this world. My eyes forever locked in yours and yours in mine. Those eyes that destroyed me and built me up making me stronger, strongest. Eternal strength.

I only hope that if you ever do look my way into the shadows, in hopes of getting some shade from your sun-filled path, I just don't blink.





So maybe I won't see you tonight. Not in the way I want to see you. Not from the other side of those blinders you sport so fashionably. And maybe you won't see me. But I will be here, waiting. On the bench on the hill, when the sun goes down, when the shades really should be coming off after all...

My Angel

What can I even say? Besides the fact that I am now absolutely positive that there is only one person on this side of the earth who absolutely melts my heart. My knees shake and my voice trembles whenever I am within six feet of her. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. It's been this way with no other woman that I have been the least bit close to. The air becomes drier than air in the sahara when the sun's at its highest. I feel chills but my temple beads with sweat droplets and I know in the back of my mind that every single one of my flaws has become a million times worse. But I can't even think of wiping the booger that is hanging from the tip of my nose or even trying to suppress the alfalfa-style cowlick at the back of my head, as I am too busy being absolutley mezmerized by her. Luckily, I didn't fall down when tripping over my own shoelaces that don't seem to ever stay done up. Or maybe I did, but I was just in such an oblivious stuporous state, that I didn't even notice. Her smile is so warm and genuine that I can't help to believe that she's actually even enjoying the random retarded nothingness of sentences stringed together that I'm pitching to her. She listens and tries soo incredibly hard to comprehend what I might be trying to say. But her angel eyes look into mine and my heart is in my throat and it's all I can do to not look down at my un-tied shoes. Those penetrating yet soft blue eyes remind me of the southern carribean sea. I don't know if it's because of their endless depth, of their beautiful colour, or the way they sparkle even when the sun's not there. They seem to look deep past mine as if trying to find something deeper and more substantial than my semi-dirty blue jeans and my somewhat wrinkled t-shirt. Her long brown hair dangles modestly in a windless evening but still shines - even when the sun's not there. It smells like something sweeter than roses and fresher than rain. I can smell it from a mile away. But the distance between us usually more like 2 miles - what might as well be 20 thousand.






Perhaps the most beautiful thing about her is her spirit. Her soul, passion, and heart. It radiates from her and energizes me. It makes me feel like I can conquer the world and the universe, too. Her drive & focus to become the change we need in this world today inspires me to want to become the man who can stand by her side and change this world together.







So I work at it. Little by little, bit by bit. I talk a lot about priorities and time and what a person should be doing with their life. I try to act on those, with getting as undistracted or disheartened as possible. It's hard though. Knowing that there is truly an angel on earth but being soooo far removed from anything this absolutely perfect is somewhat hard to take. I will not give up though. I will try my damndest to be her lobster. If only I don't get eaten up first.