Too Late, No Friends

Do you want to be my friend? I swear I will be a good friend. I will return texts right away, I will let you know when your favourite gin goes on sale, I will pick up your mail when you are on vacation, I will not sleep with your wife when you are working on the road, I will send you the latest new music you know I know you want to hear, I will ask you your thoughts on war and peace. I will resist encouraging you to break up with your boyfriend, I will share my phone charger when we are on a road trip as long as you let me have veto power over the music you try to play. Deal? Please? Please?

 Too Late. Time's Up. No friends. Your future is now and there is nobody here. It's all been established and what you hoped for will never ever be. Mundane, mediocre, complacent and lame. This is your life now. But you're married though, right? Obviously... Not. Just because your life is over doesn't mean your married. Just because you have no friends doesn't mean your life's over! And if, by the off-chance, you are married, it doesn't mean that you can't have friends. But if you in fact ARE married, maybe the friends you sleep with will be the one your wife or husband knows about. They say the best marriages are really just healthy open friendships.  And with the legalization of gay marriage, open marriages are even more commonplace (at least once a week, anyways). If you are married and are not sleeping with your friends, then I hope you are using protection and are understanding the repercussions of solicitation for all persons involved. Friendships that are not open often fail. Marriages between 2 happy (heterosexual?) friends can still prove to last the test of time. As long as you can trust your best friend and eachother's mutual friends to live the life together that each of you had vowed to live.

Who are your friends? Are they your big brother's friends? Are they your bros from your high school football team 10 years ago? Are they your weed dealer? Are they only people who are as edumacated as you? Maybe you and your friend shared experiences together years ago that some people might deem shameful. Maybe you and your friends all agreed to dislike the same room mate in college. Maybe they are your co-workers? Your superiors? Your juniors hate you, just so you know. If your friends aren't your little sister's friends that you really are just hoping to score with some day, then who else does that leave? Grandparents offer wisdom and money. Uncles are pervy or drunkards. Your aunt smoked too much dope in the 70's to be much more good than a couch to crash on. Her kids are all half your age and live with their dad in Tennessee. The parents: the disciplinarians. Your friends are imaginary? Pump up the RISPERDAL. Your friends are electronic? You recognize them by the pace of their keystroke returns. Their status updates, their taste in music, and "where they been". There is no need to hear their voice. No need for a cell with a mic or earpiece. It might really quiet things in this world down. Just a constant but soft hummmmmmmmmmmm of electonics charging. everywhere.     

Living life is not easy. "It's as easy as you make it", you say? If you say so. Be like Nike and Just Do It, right? Be like Lance and Live STRONG, eh? OK. United we are strong, this much is true. But finding the capacity to unite with like-minded individuals is another task in this world that takes 2 things: commitment and the willingness to see the good in other people. Finding the time to commit to, well, finding a friend is hard enough. What if you don't drink? Go to the dog park. Must Love Dogs was a movie for middle-aged women 10 years ago... I think. Go to the library? Lots of cute nerdy chicks at the library... so I hear. WAIT!!!! This post isn't about meeting girls!!! It's about  having a friend. It's about not being ALONE in this world and about knowing that someone has your back. Devotion to brotherhood. It's in all your 90's hardcore punk rock collection if this is still not sinking in.  Once committed, a guy's gotta find a way to supplement this symbiotic friendship. He needs to be able to AFFORD to have a social life, let alone have a romantic social life with the girl of his dreams! He needs to be able to afford beers and gas and tickets for things and beers and time away from whatever else might be preventing him from earning him an AFFORDABLE social/romantic life!!!

And until then, the guy abandons his expectations of having more from life.

How 'bout that second thing? "The willingness to see the good in other people". Kinda important. The key, I think, is to know and embrace the fact that we are alllllll hypocrites and we can only aspire to understand that "we were not put on this earth to subjugate or serve". It is true that there is a concession that judging others' lifestyles is not a socially accepted behaviour. Religious differences alone can be an incredibly divisive factor in how we choose our friends. Maybe we won't befriend somebody because of what they eat, drive, or style their hair. Maybe we secretly deem their lavish lifestyle inappropriate for their credit rating, assets, educational background,  earning potential, or motivation. Maybe the most bigoted inexcusable stereotype judgement of a "kind of person" not only extinguishes any potential of gaining a special friend, but also adds to the hatred and ugliness that is so widespread throughout the world today thanks to ... the way the world is today.


Personally, I don't think it's TOO LATE FOR FRIENDS like the Gob and Daggermouth album/song allude to. But let it be said that outside of the limited commitments I do have in my life, I can only hope that opportunity will present itself for me to be able to commit to building friendships. Heaven knows that I have truly met some incredible people through my last few jobs, my extensive degree, my hobbies, and interests and it would be terrific to be able to (at the very least) maintain those relationships through a means more substantial than facebook or e-mail. But let it be said as well that if a guy didn't have the family, girlfriend, career, or friends (in whatever capacity) holding him where he is, maybe all those things can be found someplace else in this world.

So, so long for now, friends! And thanks for wasting your time here!.

           

(some I only see on computer screens)

ch. 125

95% of the World is 3rd World!

Ch. 30

Whether you believe it or not, 95% of the world is 3rd world. That's about 6.3 out of the 6.6 Billion people living on this earth. Maybe you are one of the lucky 300 Million. If 300 Million people live in America alone, then you certainly know that some of them will be having a hard time. I guess, like in anything, it just gets a little hard as to know where to draw the line. Especially when it comes to the various kinds of being poor. But I am telling you: out of all of the various forms of inequality of the world: race, gender, environmental (water, sanitation, sustenance farming through drought/deforestation), political, religious, educational, those with disabilities, those with no access to health care, animal rights...about 95% of us will be affected in a pretty significant way. It's just a matter of how we react to the things that we know that will determine one of two things:

1. whether you will be openly welcomed into the pearly gates of heaven, or


2. whether you will be sent directly to the fire depths of hell to burn for all of eternity.

Okay, maybe it's not quite like that. (maybe it is!) But this I know for sure. There is a growing number of people that actually DO give a damn' about the world! And they aren't necessarily all senior citizens or students either. Lifelong commitment of people wanting to leave behind a better world is becoming more and more popular. I am currently reading a book called "How to Change the World - Social Entrepreneurs and the Power of New Ideas". It is a hopeful and inspiring book that provides specific cases of the projects that people are having success with in a world that sometimes seems very impossible.

In my life, I have seen some people take on some pretty amazing things. Thanks to Engineers Without Borders, I have seen thousands of school-aged kids get informed about water scarcity and the difficulties of governments in securing access to this precious resource. Letters to MPs and MLAs alike are being sent for issues ranging from untying Canada's Foreign Aid Dollars to quashing Stelmach's unconstitutional Bill 19 to asking the City for better access to public transit. I have seen benefit shows and bottle drives, bike rides for cancer and church groups doing development work abroad. A blog called http://attemptsatabetterworld.blogspot.com/ is probably one of my new favorite things to follow, where a man is trying to just make life better one step at a time. But with incredible inspirational people like Senator Romeo Dallaire, Doctor David Suzuki, AIDS advocate Stephen Lewis, and even grade school teacher, Mike Engel, it is not difficult to see how generations are now in fact changing the world.

I know just as much as anyone how easy it is to get very depressed, apathetic, and busy & carried away with your own life in such a fast-pace world. Especially if you are having a hard time making the rent or you recently find out that you are pregnant. Especially if you are worried about job security in the worst recession in 80 years. We have all watched the rich get richer and the poor faint away to nothing. We watch the pirates of the world continue to pillage and plunder the remaining few unhabituated areas or exploit the perpetually developing areas, slashing down trees, cutting into the earth all in order for their insatiable gluttony and greed. We watch as civil war rages on in Sudan and are sickened by the ideas of Child Soldiers or Slumdogs or for-profit companies going into countries for drug testing. We watch our own native people get displaced to the city streets as their water and land is polluted and destroyed. But we carry on. At the very least, we get informed. The hardest decision I think is deciding when you are informed enough to start contributing, or maybe when you can afford to start contributing because you aren't all busy with just surviving. From what I've seen though, a person doesn't need very much to survive.

So with sooo many inspirational and motivated people around me, I vow from this Earth Day 2009 forward, to start surviving more realistically and start contributing more appropriately. This is going to begin with writing a letter to my MLA Carl Benito and his boss Eddie, and the opposition parties too, about reversing their plans on cutting funding to the Wild Rose Foundation - a voluntary organization that offers support to a huge array of Alberta non-profits like the Sexual Abuse Center of Edmonton. After that, I am going to write out a plan of action that will help me to active goals within a certain time frame. Wish me luck.

http://www.wildrosefoundation.ca/about.aspx

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2009/04/21/cgy-wild-rose-foundation-alberta.html