This Is Hockey!

Ch 54.

It was an amazing end to the season. Since the trade deadline at the end of February, the Edmonton Oilers have gone from being one of the most volatile inconsistent depressing teams in the NHL to watch, to being something reminiscent from a team from about 2 decades ago.

Nobody would have ever seen this one coming. All seemed so hopeless. Injuries plaguing the entire defence, aging veterans feeling the strain of over-exertion & endless expectations of fans & coaches, a forward line that has combined for only 161 goals (the 6th lowest in the Western Conference) so far, and a goaltender that faces about 30% more shots than his team is able to deliver to their opponent on any given night. Nobody would have seen this coming.

But it happened. It was party due to the economy, partly due to the players' changing attitudes, partly due to Daryl Kaatz taking charge, partly due to Bettman being bought out & finally leaving the league.

League-wide salary reduction was the one key factor in which made Edmonton Oilers transform from a farm-team that only ever develops players' skills to the point that they are good enough to be traded away for more affordable draft picks, into the 2009 Stanley Cup Champions. The dissolution of 12 teams and re-invention of the Winnipeg Jets & Quebec Nordiques made the league incredibly more competitive. The season was shortened by 10 games, and it was made sure that from this point forward, every team would play every other team in the league at least twice each season. No-Trade clauses were enforced (even if Chris Pronger was having a hard time not sleeping with his teammates' wives), but not until this happened:

Ryan Smyth came home.

That's right. The heart & soul of the Edmonton Oilers resumed his leadership role as Captain, sending Ethan Moreau back to being the (appropriate) position of fourth liner. The grit & dedication & determination of Smyth to make his home team thrive in this New League was incredibly appreciated and noticed all around the league, such that other former Oiler greats cued up to join him in Kaatz's organization. Amoung these were Doug Weight, Todd Marchant, Michael Peca, and Eric Brewer. Scott Niedermayer couldn't wait to get away from Mickey Mouse & Chris Pronger: One being a an over-sized smelly rodent that goes around smelling like cheese & living in Fantasyland, and the other being Mickey Mouse. This rebuilt Edmonton team allowed them to annihilate every other team in the league for the last 25 games of the 2009 season. Sheldon Souray was the team's points leader, with 32 assists to Horcoff and 26 to Hemsky at the end of the season.

By having the total team salary cap halved to $25M, players realized that in addition to their materialistic and over-consumeristic ways, their "hollywood days" were finally over. They were going to start to have to playing for the love of the game, just as the Oilers of the 80s did so well. All other pro-sports have yet to understand the implications of this unbelievable over-compensation of our favorite jocks, especially since none other are so physically tolling as hockey is! Yet, despite any abuse on the body, hockey players still understood that these were the necessary steps to take in order to promote the game & make it better. They would only have to get used to having their wives buying the no-name BBQ sauce for a change.

Gretzky cried. Again. Not because he knew his wife was going to be bored commuting between her mansion in that new Windermere development in Edmonton, WEM, and the River Cree Casino, and not because he was about to leave +30°C year round temperatures where there was nothing to do but coach & golf, but because he couldn't make hockey - the only real game - a go of it in the middle of a desert. It was really kind of sad, but after him hearing that Winnipeg was going to become the home of the Coyotes, he was absolutely gleeful & could only offer up the suggestion that the team be renamed "The Prairie Wolves". (since the desert isn't really the prairies)

You see, Wayne Gretzky was incredibly happy to be asked by Daryl Kaatz to become head coach of the Edmonton Oilers and couldn't wait to return with his boys in the Blue & Bronze/(orange) and destroy those desert dogs back in Winnipeg who played with about the same amount of intensity as they did when they were on the golf course.

Todd Bertuzzi & Sean Avery have been spending their spring/summer together in some of Toronto's finest private golf clubs aswell, since Toronto was the only team that would have them; and the players had to donate a large portion of their salaries to local sports charities for kids.For whatever reason, noone wanted to ever play golf with either of them! oh wellll...

But it was playoffs that was the most fun. The Oilers crushed Vancouver in 4 games the first round, Winnipeg Prairie Wolves were swept too, and the Calgary flames were not only swept, but shut out the entire series. In the end, the Edmonton Oilers won the Stanley Cup in 5 games over the Montreal Canadiens, only because in 1 game, Roloson played Left Wing.

- The Changed Rules -

In order to make the NHL better, these rules were incorporated into the league:

- No Touch Icing
- No more Delay of Game penalties for simply clearing the puck from your own end over the boards
- Smaller elbow pads
- Mandatory visors
- Less stick infraction penalties --- let the players skate through hooks, trips
- Goalies can make contact anywhere.
- 16oz glass of Molson Canadian : $5.

Chapter 53. People...

PEOPLE, as Social Beings

That word looks funny. It's like the more you look at it & think about it, the stranger it looks. Maybe that makes sense, since PEOPLE are in fact such a funny species. "Haha" Funny? No, more like odd funny. Their habits, routines, expected behaviours and responses. All whack. Those of you who know me well know that I am horrible for constantly generalizing groups of people - it doesn't necessarily have to be any one race, sex, age, class...it's just something that I have been called out on more than a few times. And I accept that as I, myself, am filled with these stereotypes of the whiteboy engineer from a middle-class family still living at home reaping the benefits and privileges that come along with being born and raised in a relatively healthy suburban neighborhood in one of the richest places in the world. (insert witty NOFX quote here). But beyond these cultural stereotypes, I think that I am also ready to generalize the entire human race.

People are overt. They are needy. They are nosey. And for some reason, people just can't seem to help but to seek praise & attention. This is what is natural to them. I suppose it's because they have a soul. A soul is what makes a person different than a machine. This is the premise of Yevgeny Zamyatin's 1920s dystopian novel "We": the human population only ever gets into any of its predicaments because they lack the clarity to see that their soul, imagination, and feelings are getting in the way of realizing the critical path to eternal happiness. By having souls, people (before having any hopeful perspectives about their world around them utterly obliterated thanks to media-induced apathy) have hope in seeing a better world through each other. So by putting oneself out there & allowing his or herself to become vulnerable to other people, that person is conceding to the fact that they have hope in that another person might be able to fill that hole in their soul.

There are a few people out there who have always refused this social aspect of the human experience. Trust me, I did engineering for ever so I know. But even besides my unique group, there are friends who have always been accepted by the masses, yet for whatever reason, felt it was within their own best interests to avoid contact with most other people at all costs. These anti-socials are still very good people and highly respected, and I believe, would be optimistic about the future - despite not "putting themselves out there" for others to poke into their lives and complete them. (yuck - he didn't just use a Jerry Maguire Quote, did he?!)

Poke. Okay sure. Let's go there. People are constantly poking their noses into other people's lives on facebook. One of facebook's trademark's is in fact the "poking" feature itself. It's a way to say to someone, "Hey, I'm checking you out! What is it in your life that's going on that makes you seem so happy! And if you're not, what is it that I can bring to the table to make your life more fulfilling?" This is what facebook exists for. For people's necessity in putting themselves out there and seeking feedback from other people that will either make you feel good about yourself, or your realization of the utter power you have in being able to delete someone from your life with a click of the button. (and also finding out that the Great Lake Swimmers are coming soon to a venue near you!)

Mobile devices work in just the same way: it's putting yourself out there so that other people can invest their time into you.

People are also affected by degrees of separation because of these souls that exist. Compassion and sensitivity allow people to empathize to the hardships of other people. If your sister is sick, you respond. If your sister's husband father is sick, you respond. If your sister's husband's father's healthcare worker is sick, you respond. This is what's natural. It extends farther than you would believe - as far as you allow yourself to open your eyes to the world around you. Poverty and War. It can affect you. You might even react (and do something, or not) if you let it affect you enough. This is what people do.

I am trying to convince myself that I have more to write on this matter, but I think that really all that is left to say is that I don't think this social aspect of people is a bad thing. And I am not offended that most people will not be reading this blog. Take this blog as a simple additive to some of that BS that I have posted in the About Me section on facebook. Take it as an excuse for me to reach out only so far to some of the people I care about, but not enough to actually go out of my way to hang out with them, for example. I am not saying that I am overly anti-social, but rather, if you agree with this stuff I just wrote, you would let me know about so we can continue the conversation. I tend to at least make some attempt in keeping in touch with some of the most magnificent people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. But since it takes two to sustain a relationship of any sort, please let me know what you think as I am a social person too.

Even if you can't stand me.

Eco-Terrorism: The Trials & Tribulations of Environmentalists' Fight Against Resource Exploitation

(Ch. 4)

A guy named Andrew Nikiforuk is trying to take your money. He released a book last year called "Tar Sands: Dirty Oil and The Future of a Continent" for approx. $20. Ambitious to write a whole book? Yes, but HELL! There's just soo much damn' money flowing out there around environmental ideas and criticisms that why the hell wouldn't a guy try & redirect some of that cash flow in his direction?!?!

I wrote about this guy before. Before any of this tar sands mumbo jumbo came to the forefront of local headlines. You see, I came across another one of his books at the EPL entitled "Saboteur's: Wiebo Ludwig's War Against Big Oil".

From the start, I dove into this book with an open mind, realizing that Albertan Pride had already prejudiced most people against Wiebo Ludwig. He was, after all, involved with the slaying of a 16 year old girl, and noone likes to hear about murders - especially when it involves children.

Nikiforuk wrote from a fairly objective & open perspective that tried encompassing the many curious events surrounding Trickle Creek in and around Peace River, Alberta through the early-mid 90s. He got the story from detectives in the RCMP, ERCB (then EUB), neighbors, family members, oil field workers, and the bigshot gas company CEOs based in Calgary. In the end, he really conveyed the idea (to me, anyways) that injustices to the Ludwig family had been done, and that a man truly can only be pushed so far in a corrupt system that only cares about one thing.

Oil wells were bombed, oil field equipment vandalized, signs destroyed, serious threats, and less intimidating and menacing speeches and declarations made. A lot of sneaky work and timely investment & research had been done in order to get the things accomplished that were indeed accomplished.

So eco-terrorism is the word that is thrown around to describe these extreme things that an environmental group or person might do in order to make a substantial point about something that needs to be addressed, or is repeatedly and intentionally over-looked, for the sake of the health of people or the environment. ON THE OTHER HAND, a viewpoint expressed in the book is that eco-terrorism is actually the act of having sour gas flares poison the community and the livestock on which that community depends.

But I digress. I have been 20 years in Alberta and know that the only way that we can remain as a happy happy happy rich rich rich province is if we continue to cut into the earth.

We have nothing else!

Actually, that's a bunch of shit. Alberta truly has some of the most beautiful and diverse environments that I have ever seen, although I am a tad biased. It's just that Albertans have a different set of values, that rises from the days of hard labour of working the earth through the 20s and 30s as farmers. In 1947, Leduc #1 opened up a whole new realm of opportunity for people to get rich in the oil business rather than the typical wheat, flax, & canola harvesting. And even before that, people were attempting to remove the sand from the oil a few clicks north. Sixty years later, this business is bigger than ever.

Recently, Greenpeace Alberta has gained some momentum. It's current leader Mike Hudema (BLaw, BA Teaching (majoring in Drama, go figure)) seems to have some sort of idea of what he'd like to see happen with the current state of the oil business, as unfathomable as his ideas might be as far as economic growth is concerned. But despite any extreme viewpoints or tactics he might be using, at least issues about environmental degradation are getting talked about. In Saboteurs, however, it becomes extremely evident that fighting government supported oil industry is a losing fight; despite repeated outcries of opposition to any additional drilling. So much so, that a person will eventually lose enough sanity to take the government's law into his own hands. And it's happening again. In Dawson Creek (on the Alberta-B.C. border) there was a late-night explosion at a natural gas wellhead last October. But no alleged suspects (if they have any) are being released to the public.

So health issues.

People are resilient. They don't need a lot to survive. They can do alright with minimal food, water, sanitation services, clothing, money... The difference being that those of us that, for example, can afford to benefit from a Privatized Healthcare System, will thrive with the best treatments and opportunities for ideal health. And the rest of us? We be f$#@ed. That is the prominent thing that should be getting our government's attention. The Fort Chipewyan residents have found to have disproportionately high rates of immune system diseases and cancer by prominent regional doctor, Dr. O'Connor. The thing is that Ft. Chip is just downstream Lake Athabasca, which happens to be the majority of the source water for the oilsands operations in the area. There is a lot of headaches and disagreements about the environmental impact from the mining operations and the health effects on the locals. Then again, when tailings ponds can kill ~500 ducks, it's hard to believe that 100% mitigation can be taken to guarantee that people aren't being poisoned the same way, however so resilient they may be.

Bambi in the Bucket of a Bobcat

Besides the health side of things, we are watching the environment of our beautiful province turning more & more into the Land of Mordor. Building and Burning. Continual expansion: industrial sprawl, paving into the country & driving the wildlife away. There's bear killing going on, since the bears are getting in the way of industrial progress and sprawling urban development. And we are idly watching the replacement of habitat with paved roads, clouded skies, dried and filled wetlands. Caribou populations dwindling. This is happening everywhere: hectare by hectare.

The land footprint according to March 2009 National Geographic of all oilsands development in Alberta is 150 square miles. This equates to .01% of the total area of the Canadian boreal forest.

Small, yet devastating.

When Edmonton tears up its northeast soil belt for the sake of building 6 oil refineries in what is destined to become "Upgrader Alley", more farming habitat: lost forever.

And when the building of a new sour gas well (the sweet gas is gone) is approved for just beyond Calgary's city limits (or is it that Calgary's urban sprawl is reaching the foothills where the wells just happen to be being built now?): more emissions.

There is oil under lakes, like Maria Lake, that is constantly being surveyed & studied by geotech's who really wanna get under that lake & say that people & habitat won't be affected. Public pressure has saved our lakes so far, but as resources get depleted and prices go up, potentially devastating that lake will become a more & more viable option to many.

The bottom line of all of this is that we need new enforceable governmental legislation that caters to the interests of the people rather than companies. The existing system ensures that the few involved in industry will continue to get rich and increase the economic disparity amongst the classes, including even the middle-class having a harder time of breaking even. With this new enforceable governmental legislation, we will also have "to invent the corrective feedbacks that are needed to keep custodians (=politicians) honest" (Hardin, 1968). Only then will we be living in a province that we will not feel morally detached from, as we continue to destroy the land, air, and waters all around us.

Marx. The people's revolution. It may still happen. A person really can be pushed so far. Increasing numbers of anarchists and revolutionaries resisting this conservative occupation will get noisier and noisier. We all know that there is a dire need for emission reduction and environmental protection, and only with time will we start seeing these people rising from the ashes and fighting the system back with a vengeance. Unless we get four hundred dollar rebate cheques.

I bought Nikiforuk's Oilsands book before Halloween and haven't read it yet. Maybe I will go do that now.

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/RCMP+investigate+fourth+pipeline+bombing/1143588/story.html

http://www.saboteursandbigoil.com/maybe_youd_fight_too.htm

Chapter 41: I Hate Hate Haters

Frick. Another song title rip-off? By that crappy NOFX band too?! Seriously? Hey, if you don't like it, go join Al Quaeda! (shakes angry fist in the air) Another Craig Ferguson quote? Is this guy for real?!

Yes, yes, I am sad to say that this is in fact "for real". But "why?!" you may ask! I'll tell you why! Cuz not enough people do. Do what? Do anything.

Complacency*. Such a horrible descriptor. Complacency = Empathy + Ignorance. It's to be sooo okay with the status quo, that even the idea of thinking about inequality is too much of a pain in the ass. It is simply better to say "Awww, well that's too bad...and I sure as hell won't be the one (to sacrifice my lifestyle) to do anything about it."

So what I am suggesting here is that people lose some level of selfishness. I suggest that they replace it with at least some level of compassion. Or even, just: passion.

I know for certain that some passionate people simply lack the ability to articulate or express their feelings of some issues they really care about. Instead, they might simply wear a yellow "livestrong" wristband, or maybe get a tattoo of Jesus on the Cross, for example. All those dull & monotone people out there should at least try to work on at least some form of communicating themselves for the benefit of some social justice issue they might have at least some interest in. It doesn't matter if it's the environment, animals, racism, sexism, homophobia, AIDS, poverty, political transparency...whatever!

But instead, these very able-bodied individuals go ahead through their daily routine, heads down, mouths shut, fists unclenched by their sides...

But What's With Not Hating The Hate?

My feelings towards hatred are such that, sure, love all around is nice & dandy: hippies & flowers, rainbows & kittens, muffin top sunshine, dooo deeeee doooo daahhhh la-la-la, skip-to-the-loo my cheekey monkeys, n'all. (what?!)

But that's not real life.

At times like these, with such a MESSED up population base, we just have to channel the hatred that currently exists into a more positive direction. We have to use our ANGER to hold those accountable for our underlying unhappiness. And guess who's accountable? The government, of course! I mean, the LOVE has to be reserved for family members & dearest of friends, but the government?! Oh, come onnn! Saying you love your government is like saying reading this blog is more satisfying than the pictures you are looking at in the other internet explorer you have open right now! Being hateful is to be passionate. With such an apparent lack of PASSION, and yet sooo much HATRED, doesn't it just make sense to try and manipulate the one into playing into the other?

So let's bring this back to music once again to try & get my point across:

Atreyu: Hate can be a postive emotion when it forces you to better yourself!

The Offspring: I hate the jocks, I hate the geeks, I hate the trendies, But I also hate the freaks. I hate your band, And I hate TV, I'm only happy when I'm in my misery - It's cool to hate

NoFx: Hatred is not so bad when directed at injustice. You can turn the other cheek, just don’t turn the other way.

Metallica: Don't waste your breath, And I won't waste my hate on you

George Strait: I hate everything

Muse: Hate this and I'll love you

oh, and 1 more that we better not leave out:

"Always Hate Hippies!"

-nofx

So yes, hate, hate away. Hate me for feeling this way, criticize & critique me. Judge me & get angry. Just please do something. REJECT MORE. QUESTION EVERYTHING. NEVER STOP.



*Note:

1. C = E + I

2. E = C * I

3. I = C - E

I think all of these make logical sense.

1. A person that is totally resolved with the life he/she is leading is likely ignorant. This person usually has a very low sense of empathy (maybe even E = 0), which would allow for C = I.

2. A person that loses the ignorance but is aware of the issues will tend to see C decline as E goes up. (inversely proportional relationship)

3. A person who has no decency, sould, compassion or sense of reality in present day society is likely complacent, with essentially E = 0, or I = C.

these might need some refining.

Hole Filler

Hole Filler
(I will fill your void, Ch. 39)

When you are feeling down & blue,

I will always be there for you.

When the sun won't come out and shine,

I'll bring you lightbulbs - the indoor sunshine lighting kind.

Those days when the piano just sounds out of key,

You can come laugh at my singing - at karaoke!

If you're ever caught wearing some mis-matched socks,

I'll remind you your brain's still bigger than most jocks'.

If having an impact is what you are trying to do,

Don't get discouraged by those short-sighted few.

And when you get shut down & out from him once again,

Always know that I will be your friend.

Okay. So there we go. What a cute (pathetic) little rhyme. I knoooowww!!! Talk about cheesey. But I gotta just say this: How frustrating must it be for a guy who is so stupidly reasonable, patient, open, & do I daresay lonely, to be frustrated by women time & time again. I am not speaking of myself, or any one man in particular, but rather, of all the good guys out there that just can't seem to find themselves in any sort of substantial relationship in his past decade of living. What is it that we (yes, I include myself in this group) are missing? How many *ahem* short-comings have to accumulate before the self-esteem of these men is driven so low that they terminally resign themselves to the fact that they will likely be alone forever? A guy can only put himself out there so much, you know (unless he's a dancer, I think), and when he lacks the resources like: charm, good looks, personality, style, or depth (or length) ((what?!)), what really can he do? Alcohol. (well, duh!!)

I try to convince myself that men really shouldn't need liquid courage in order to talk to the opposite sex. Genuine relationships that might last are based out of first impressions, true; but also, if those first impressions are essentially skewed by babbling alcohol-induced nonsense, then what would a woman with a cool & collected head on her shoulders really see in that? The only chance that the pair really even has is that she is already SOOO effing loaded, that she doesn't see him as an afraid little boy without a clue in his mind as to what he might possibly have to offer her, but rather just go for that One Good F*#@. Then again, I am drinking right now, so all of this is really a bunch of shit.

So as a result this is what you see: middle-aged middle-class career-minded single men, that only can dream of the day that they have enough money in their bank accounts to attract some piece of hot tail half their age. No kidding. If that's not the case, you see the most reasonable of men lowering their standards to such a level that they impregnate the next woman that'll spread'm for him. Like come on! Maybe I am wrong in that these men in fact ARE realizing their own maximum potential and enjoying what they can, while they are still young enough to enjoy anything at all, without the arthritis creeping in, that is...

But as for me, in the meantime, I will continue to go around filling the voids that are in her life. I will be that friend - that confidant and muse. I will tell her funny stories and listen to her complain about the weather. I will be that shoulder for her to cry on and that wallet that can always afford that 1 extra drink @ closing time. A whore, essentially. It's exhausting. She knows it too, but just the same, feels like she owes him nothing more than the occasional phone call or text (which she is perfectly right about, by the way). Even though she thinks about him more than she cares to admit. One day though, as persistent patience plays itself out, he will truly find That One that he has always dreamt about all his life. And when it happens, he won't understand how, why, who, what things in all of thuniverse could have possbily transpired to get him - them - to this stage. Especially after all of this time. All of this patience. And headaches. Loneliness.

(what an emo-ass whiny little bitch - like FUCK. note to self: drink mickey of rum to self this weekend.)

Top 10 Things I Hate About Facebook

#10 - Retarded status updates like when people finish them off without any thought at all. (i.e. "Bob is...") If you don't have any thoughts in that pretty little head of yours, keep that to your self.

#9 - When people over the age of 30 add you as a friend.

#8 - The non-launching of an automatic music player on each individual's facebook profile. Cuz let's be serious: if you knew that the person likely had good taste in music, you would probably be visiting that person's profile more often - and for the music, and not all the Hot Pictures.

#7 - The girls that you hope to see on "online chat" never seem to be online. at all. ever.

#6 - Poking. If you wanna really wanna get with someone, just let them know it (in a really dirty/romantic message).

#5 -I hate it when people reply to facebook "events" as to whether they will be at said event or not. Cuz guess what? NOBODY CARES that you have other plans elsewhere or that you are living in another city. Why can't these people just ignore the facebook event invitations or decline them and carry on with their life instead of wasting the 4 or 5 seconds to "reply to topic" when they could be spending that time to turn off the effing computer??? To me it comes across as these people feel that they have sooo much better things to do than come to the event in their interesting & exciting lives. It comes across as these people feel like they will actually be missed!!! Well sorry, you're not gonna be missed.

#4 - Private profiles.

f

ff

#3 - How when entering your personal info, the auto-complete essentially tells you what you like, even after the keystroke of just a single letter. Strung Out sings: "Everything in my life just thinks for me!". This is true thanks to today's technology.

#2 - My inability to purge out all of the hot girls from my facebook friends despite how much I really don't even like them. I did that with an ex, and her hot friends, but other than that, they are all still here. Yay for hot girls.

#1 - How it seems to eat up about 6 hours of my 8 hour work day...I mean...I wouldn't give MY troubles to A MONKEY ON A ROCK!!!

Bad Habit: A Lesson on Driving Etiquette

Don't race the car next to you when waiting at a red light. You will only end up right next to them 2 blocks later. Don't start breaking for stop signs and red lights 3 meters before the stop line. Stop at stop signs - don't just slow down & keep going. Don't stop 3 feet into the crosswalk. If you see the Flashing Hand, don't step on it. Speeding up through intersections is not a good idea. Especially when there's a crosswalk in front of St. Richard's School or the University Hospital. Don't enter the far lane while making a turn. Make the turn then signal to get over. Signal. Always. That means put the damn' phone down. That includes texting. Don't tailgate and don't cut people off. That's just rude. Don't cross solid white lines in order to get to the turning lane a few seconds faster. Your time is not that important. Don't block intersections. Don't enter lanes when you know that the person in that lane is speeding so fast that they will have to RAM on the breaks to stop from hitting you. Enter the lane after they pass. Don't drive 80 when the speed limit's 50. Don't drive 140 when the speed limit's 100. Don't drive with your brights on in the middle of the city. It's not the least bit necessary. Don't let your 16 year old drive a 40 thousand dollar truck. Don't get into fits of rage about the redneck truck driver asshole that wouldn't ever read this blog. Don't drink & drive. I am pretty sure that after 2 drinks, 90% of people would be safer to Not Drive. Drive as little as possible. And when you do, don't kill animals. Don't kill people. Don't get killed. I like you.

Hey man you know I'm really okay

The gun in my hand will tell you the same

But when I'm in my car

Don't give me no crap

Cause the slightest thing

and I just might

snap

When I go driving I stay in my lane

But getting cut off makes me insane

I open the glove box

Reach inside

I'm gonna wreck this fuckers ride tonight

I guess I got a bad habit

Of blowin' away

Yeah I got a bad habit

And it aint goin away

Well they say the road's a dangerous place

If you flip me off

I'm the danger you'll face

You drive on my ass

Your foot's on the gas

And your next breath is your last

Drivers are rude

Such attitudes

But when I show my piece

Complaints cease

Somethings odd

I feel like I'm god

finish it yourself.

Punk Parallels and Perpendiculars

Ch. 40

Punk Parallels and Perpendiculars

The degree to which music has an impact on a person's life is likely related to how much this person really thinks about the music they are listening to how it is reflected in his or her own life.

A person will either bop to the beat of the latest Rise Against recording or else swoon to the sexy stylings of Justin Timberlake or Kanye West. Snoop Dogg may inspire you to light a doob or Slipknot might make you wanna tailgate the hell out of the car in front of you. But within the vast realm of music generally classified as punk, it is important to realize it as one of the more pensive genres. Go ahead and argue back that TOOL or SOAD writes thougtful music... and I would have to agree. Go ahead and argue that NOFX songs like "See Her Pee"or "Fun Things to Fuck (if you're a winner)" are exceptionally juvenile, and I would have to agree. But depending on the type of punk we are talking about, the messages that these songs carry are likely the most direct and explicit way of demanding a change out of ourselves and eachother in a repressive and injust world.

But before anything else, I wanna talk about a few shows. First: October 2007 - The Circle Jerks with Ignite and Pennywise headlining. In the height of popularity, The Circle Jerks were hated by cops. They would love to shut shows down when the kids got a little rowdy. But the only reason the kids got rowdy is because of the passion they felt towards the message that the band was singing about (Reganism, for example). So the pigs would pull out their batons and bust open as many heads as possible, as requested by the local governmental authorities, in order to surpress the kids from thinking that they even had a chance of changing the school of thought in which the way that society was being run. Keith Morris and his 5 foot dreads was good enough to skank around for a solid 80-90 min set and really get the blood flowing for the crowd.

When the lesser known band IGNITE came out, there stood the same group of motivated and challenging youth standing & singing, just as they did with the Circle Jerks 15 years ago. This time though, the pigs carry tasers and tasers kill people so the rowdiness was deterred.

Ignite is an incredible band that sings about historic communist oppression in Eastern Europe, as well as perhaps more local issues like domestic violence, poverty, strength, and brotherhood. The passion & the power with which they sing, though, is just what the doctor ordered for a world that can only be SHOCKED into action, with such clear, concise, and important lyrics in each & every song.

Pennywise? Well, really what can I even say. Go buy a record. Then you'll know. But in my notes, I have "greed" written down, so I think that this is one (of many) important songs by pennywise which encapsulates the way that society operates souly based on greed. I would daresay that this is one of the root causes/fundamental problems with what there is in the world today. They never played it though. The Pennywise set list, I either have published somewhere else or jotted down, but a pennywise fan could probably guess about 90% of the songs they played that night.

The second show I wanna mention was last summer when I saw Edmonton local band "The Wednesday Night Heroes play with D.O.A. and Rancid. This was a punk show just the same, but it was raw. It was sloppy & scratchy - violent & loving.

The Heroes are local but have done well to represent our city - maybe not as much as SNFU, but hey that's just an opinion.

D.O.A. was soooo tight! How could you not be, after playing together for 25 years +? It was aggressive and vulgar - not as much bodily fluids being sprayed in the air as the guttermouth show - but maybe it just seems that way cuz the Agricom has a hellofa lot more air space. Joey Shithead continues to tour small Canadian towns, representing a set of values in which soooo many shared through the mid-80s, and a certain amount now try to continue to live by.

Rancid, the big hellcat, spent the show entertaining its audience with endless wartime imagery on the screen over the stage. It included video from WWI & II and every depiction of armaments in any shape or form. It was an anti-war show, but unlike anti-flag, Tim Armstrong didn't lecture us about anything we should or should not be doing, but simply let the images from the atrocities of war do that for him. They played I Wanna Riot & I danced.

Aside from these 2 great shows (I mean, these blogs are fucking horribly long anyways...) let me just generalize a few more things before getting to my point.

The fun punk bands (Less Than Jake, Gob, The Mad Caddies, Slick Shoes, The Bouncing Souls...) have just as much to offer to society as the more politically motivated (say, satanic surfers, propagandhi) bands. Aside from their "let's party" attitude, these bands still sing to kids for the most part, about the tough things about being a kid. If anything, these songs induce passion in the kids, and passion is where it starts. It was No Use For A Name who opened for NOFX last summer.

The angry punk bands like Death By Stereo, Blood For Blood (hardcore), Union 13, Raised Fist, The Suicide Machines, do an incredible job of REJECTING the mess we have made for ourselves and absolutely calling for action NOW. Blood for Blood speaks to the kids that have had a rougher upbringing, union 13 caters to the ethnic, repessed minorites, death by stereo gives the burb kids from socal an escape valve from the ludicrus lifestyle from being raised in the valley, and the suidice machines just dislikes government and status quo. but these bands, i think do the best job of getting kids moving, thinking, doing...



Straight up hardcore bands like suicidal tendencies, refused, sick of it all, H2O, and 98 Mute, do just the same as what the "angry bands" do, but with less screaming - mor

e ... yelling. Yay.

--

So the music we listen to will be largely dependent on 2 things: demographics & geographics.
Besides the kids that grew up watching Black Flag and TSOL on Huntington Beach, or Social Distortion in the OC or Death By Stereo, 20 years later, there wouldn't be a large reason for kids to listen to "underground" anti-system...anti-anything kind of music in these areas. Life was peachy. Similarly, South Beach Miami would be a more difficult place to find anti-authoritarian music. Sub-cultures and countercultures thrived more in places like nyc. boston. edmonton. That's right. Here. Bands are usually impressed with what a tight underground scene we have here, when they final tour all the way up to 53° lat. That's largely because our kids have not a hell of a lot to do. We have spikey-haired kids up here, some of which can be parallelled to the socal kids that come from (oil) money or overly-normal suburban families. The punk population in any region will be somewhat divided by the not-so-subtle differences like the crowd with its spikes & chains @ the rancid show or the crowd with its machismo and backward black ball caps @ the pw show. Despite this, we are united by a stronger - the STRONGEST force - a will & hope to see a brighter future.

So, What have we learned on the show tonight, Craig?

All of that has brought us to this:

Acceptable vs a RESPECTABLE lifestyle: a new way of thinking

Thanks to: the industrial revolution, adam smith's wealth of nations, fordism, taylorism, lawyers, and hollywood, north america has been consumed with consumerism. All of the tools were put into place that allowed the Western World to THRIVE off of material things, in which corporations got rich off of. Laws put into place ensured that these inanimate moneymakers are financially secured so that the minority few could get rich off of them. All of this turn-of-the-19th-Century activity, making the rich man richer had the effect of making the poor man poorer. Especially with Globalization and the such, the cheapest labour was exploited and continues to be exploited to this day. The results go beyond human effects - the environment gets dumped on and all of life is affected as a result.

Adolescents - youth who have yet to be corrupted by money, materialism, & that testosterone that makes the world go round - might find that punk rock outlet for a short period of a time, prior to having to invest in an education, house, job, or family (as these things all cost money).

But there exist great men like Dr. Greg Gaffin, Ian MacKaye, Keith Morris, Jello Biafra, and sure why not: Henry Rollins, who continually sound the message to youth (in speach or song) that they have the right to demand for something MORE from this world and that the system as it stands is a failure. They show how a 4 or 8 year punk rock stint can be MORE than just a phase: it can be a legitimate long-term lifestyle. Even if we aren't all just sopping up the royalty money that comes our way from being on Fat Wreck or Epitaph. We can be smarter in everything we do. We do not have to be belligerent, anti-intelligent "punks" that bust out windows, shave cats, and spraypaint cars. We do not have to be viewed by the whole of society as a "temporary but necessary, pain-in-the-arse acceptable counterculture outlet" but rather, change this perception of "punks" into something more --- something that gives our society hope in an obviously horribly failed system.

The revolution is beginning. I can feel it. People are noticing the state of environment, the state of life, and are starting to make changes in their lifestyles. As more and more people make these changes in their lives, they will continue to be pushed farther and farther to their breaking points as the population problem continues. Things will likely become very tense in coming years & decades and we will not be able to sustain this way of life. It will only be when things get as bad as they can possibly get will people be willing to finally come together and fight for something more from the powers that be. We will have to rise from the ashes and rebuild a system of equality and opportunity, and this will only happen when people wake up and find the passion necessary to be the change they want to see - that passion that is so essential in a punk.

Time for another piercing.

If you're a 15 year old girl, you'll love this.

I think I was in grade 8 when Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" video was at the top of the charts on MuchMusic. Yowza. What a girl!! That grey skirt and white blouse with form-fitting school sweater... Thank you Mickey Mouse Club for giving a kid a chance. But outside of the naughtiness of the schoolgirl uniform, this music didn't really have much to offer to adolescent boys that were not unlike myself.

Years later (circa 2002) a Canadian Punk Rocker rose out of nowhere. Avril Lavigne was taking Canada - and the WORLD - by storm. It was hard even for us cool kids to dislike her first release "sk8er boi" when it hit the airwaves. The song had a lot to offer (a pretty dancer who likes a punk but was too proud to bring herself down to his level) and the girl that sang it had attitude. But then she got rich & famous & married fellow pop-punkster Mr. Sum 41. Next thing you know it, she exchanges her attitude and grit for blond hair extensions and a clothing line.

Other music that is commonly loved by 15 year old girls might include cd releases by Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. I grew out of my 15 year old girl stage by the time they got real popular, so I wouldn't really even know where to begin to comment, aside from that I am pretty sure that popstars that do porn aren't really the best role models for other 15 year old girls. I don't think that digitalizing a person's voice to death in order to make sure it is in key is really the same thing as being an amazing singer.

However there is one exception where a young female country vocalist is really doing a damn' fine job. This girl does it all. She writes her own songs, plays acoustic guitar solos, has the (second) cutest smile on this side of the earth and the curliest long blond hair I have ever seen. What talents, hey?! Taylor Swift likely sells more records to pre-teen girls than any other demographic out there (including 24 year old men), and is keeping some self-respect while doing it. She's the writer of the songs that speak so passionately to matters of the heart. Songs that I wish that I could be writing about, but with gender roles exchanged. I think Brad Paisley is the guy that has stepped up more than most others in that respect, so Thanks Brad. I think there are probably more 24 year old men that like Brad Paisley songs a little bit more than they like Taylor Swift songs; but what these guys fail to appreciate is hearing the beauty in the simplicity of her songs. The simple strumming banjo and that ohhhh soooo soft, sweet voice. Yeeeeaaaahh - I have a big crush on Taylor Swift. And she's not under the age of 18 anymore, so I don't even feel that guilty saying so.

"Take me back when our world was one block wide

I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried

Just two kids,  you and I"

I Don't Wanna be a CBC Hippy

(Ch. 49)

Instead of drinking my face off on Halloween a few weeks ago, I went to a presentation that incorporated the (disaster of the) Alberta oilsands and water resource quality & depletion. It was put on by the Council of Canadians and had 3 guest speakers to address the 100 60 year olds in attendance, in addition to the 50 middle-aged people, and finally, the 10 people under 30.

The newly appointed United Nations' Senior Advisor to Water Issues, Maude Barlow, was the first to address the CoC for a 30 minute schpiel on water issues within our borders, and on the global scale. She talked about water as a commodity vs. water as a human right. Since I am currently working for a water utility who capitalizes on people's ability to buy water, it made me wonder more if I could be doing something better with my time. Sure, we all have yummy fresh cold tasty water from each of our taps if we live in the City of Edmonton, all for a relatively inexpensive price. But there are injustices nevertheless. Just look around. There's a difference in the colour of Edmonton lawns in August depending on what your postal code is. Different service lines in different locations might give you a shower with noticeably more pressure than your friend in a different part of the city - yet still, we will pay the same price. And I know that filling the hot tub each time will make a noticeable, if not significant increase to the water bill at the end of the month I fill it. And here in Edmonton, we have it good! I have done some reading on how privately owned & distributed water in various impovershed countries is essentially killing people. A friend recently sent me this link where they discuss how even the rain water was privatized: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZC1LafSxAk. So what to do. I am young and fun and deserve to be going out, getting drunk & having a good time, right? Why is it that so much of my time is spent not drinking and laughing but instead spent thinking about what on earth am I doing here and why other people have ... the lives they have?! What gives?!

Aside from water privatization, Maude Barlow discussed the health impacts from water table contamination from the development in northern Alberta. She talked about the people dying - specifically Aboriginals surviving off of Lake Athabasca or ground water well tables nearby Tar Sands Development - from the rarest forms of cancer. Despite countless statistics and physical evidence, Fort Chipewyan Dr. O'Connor was accused of raising undue alarm by Health Canada. Eventually he had to flee the region if he wanted to keep is license, as the Canadian government denied to drop the charges even after countless reviews of the overwhelming evidence. Oii.

This evidence was reinforced by highly esteemed and well-published academics Dr. David Schindler from the UofA and Andrew Nikiforuk. Each of them had some terrificly horrifying statistics and visuals to share about Canada's water dilemma, especially when the oil industry compounds the degree of the problem like mad. The audience was captivated. Wiebo Ludwig's story was told from a moderately objective look by Andrew Nikiforuk in his book: Sabateur's: Wiebo Ludwig's Fight Against Big Oil so I knew a little about this guy's stance & reputation. As far as these well-trained and highly regarded experts in their fields are concerned, our water is in trouble. Enter Environmental Engineering Degree. Someone Please Help Me Put It To Use. IMPACT, right? We all want to have an impact.

I get out sometimes. It's not all just doom & gloom - reading non-fiction & watching the local news, and listening to various speakers forwarn us of an apocalypse. I get out to Rock Shows. I see bands. Last spring I remember seeing NOFX, SNFU, and a third metal or punk show all within a week. I even got down to Virgin Festival to watch The Hip, Matt Good, and City & Colour last July. I have seen African drumming circles, George Strait, Weird Al, and Celine Dion. It doesn't matter the type of music - as long as I get away from the doom & gloom once in a while. But.

Most recently, I went to a Justin Rutledge concert at Convocaton Hall. There, I was mildly suprised to see that same group of post-hippy burnouts that was at that forum on Halloween: a bunch of babyboomers & enlightened academia-type folk aging upwards of 45, with that arrogance in their stance which suggested that they really enjoy being a b-side alternative type character with better taste in music than the rest of those redneck closed-minded Albertans. This same "Linda Duncan Electorate" from the University area that I saw 3 weeks ago were happily tapping their feet and patting their laps to the beat as Justin splendidly strummed through an amazing set. Big deal? I suppose not. I didn't let that deter me from enjoying the hell out of myself for the duration of the show. Especially since my friend came with me so I didn't have to sit alone! But at the same time, I can't help but think that one day I will be one of these people. Sure, there were other young folks there but there were easily just as many Old Farts there, too. I don't wanna be an Old Fart. That's likely part of the reason why I keep on going back to punk shows!! And with this Iron Ring on my finger now, I am gonna be able to really punch some kids out real good @ the punk shows now too! But in all seriousness, I really do think that for as talented as Justin Rutledge (and his band) is, it's a shame more people weren't aware of his amazingness - like I said - only people that fall into a certain status/class and have that certain air of arrogance about them will be @ shows like this. I don't want to be this same kind of person in 20 or 30 years. I don't want to limit myself relying on CBC Radio for letting me know what the best in Canadian music is, or the most important social and environmental issues that Canadians face. I want to have some hope in our young people, such that they will pay attention to the important issues of the day. I want to find someone that understands the important issues of the day and for that person to try to keep me hopeful! I don't want to be the only less than 25 year old in attendance at a Council of Canadians meeting, and I wish that more common people would be exposed to the greatness of Justin Rutledge, rather than just sparing him for that elitist and enlightened few.

It's past 2. Time for bed.