So I've decided that I should keep track of some of the most ridiculous things I here on television or elsewhere, but aren't songs. Today I watched this new show with David Spade and also Letterman. Both had some pretty funny stuff:
Letterman, referring to his cold: "It feels like kids are running wind sprints with soccer cleats...IN MY THROAT!"
Spade to friend, after having touched the sleeve of a random Hot Blonde in a restaurant: "A touch says 'if you didn't think I wanted to have sex with you, I do' ".
I am really tired right now. I can't believe I am going to New York City!!! Whooot!
Ryan Stiles - or Lewis on Drew Carey - was at it again:
"HEY! If you don't want me picturing your girlfriend naked, maybe you shouldn't let her dress like such a SLUT!"
Tonight on Letterman in "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches" George Bush was telling a story:
"I met an onion grower today at the airport when I arrived,
and he said, you got to help me find people that will grow onions —
pluck them, or whatever you do with them, you know."
Drew Carey speaking to Oswald and Lewis: Have you guys ever noticed how beautiful Kellie is?
"I think alllllllll women are beautiful.
... that's how desperate I am."