SCREAMIN' For Change!

Chapter 29: Screamin' For Change!

By now I have read enough current events in the News, enough non-fiction 300 pagers about economics & the environment, and enough classic and modern dystopian novels to develop a bit of an opinion about the state of the world and where it is heading.

Call me pessimistic, call me sadistic, call me unreasonable. But when the science of the non-fictions, the imagination of the novels, and the reality of the current news events can be kept independent of each other, it's not hard to see how at least some plausible outcomes in the next 50 to 100 years that are talked about now might just come true. It's the cynic in me that realizes that it's really no wonder that our "Leaders" have only enough foresight to give themselves and their buddies a comfortable pension so that they might suffer the least in the earth's final days.

After all, makin' a change is a hard thing to do. Keynesian economics is a tough thing to grasp especially in times like these. "Stimulate this BITCH!" is the phrase that is uttered as half of the next EI cheque is spent on pain-numbing sensations such as alcohol consumption, drug ingestion, or sexual preoccupation. Such healthy things that a person keeps on living for. better days.

Then there's that bum on the street begging for "change". Maybe. Just maybe he doesn't want your nickels and dimes at all. Maybe his bottle collection and social security cheque is allowing him to subsist really quite reasonably. Maybe what he wants more than anything is for you to see what kind of greedy, unjustifiably inequitable world we are living in to let people - human beings - fall into the cracks like this in the first place. Maybe "Can you give me some CHANGE?" is really just a plea for you to open your eyes and realize the change that is needed in this world, and how you - the average every day citizen are the only way to make this change happen. Or maybe he's a crackhead.

So be that change you want to see. Write that letter. Heaven knows are policy writers are hopeless, and the government will have soo many cabinet shuffles in their term in office that noone really will be able to focus on getting appropriate solutions to the problems in any reasonable amount of time. Ride that bike. Even if the emission regulations and targets are changed such that the newest coal burning power plant will only be the equivalent as taking 7 million cars of the road, as opposed to the 11 million as originally promised. Take that pay cut. (What?) Get out of that labour-intensive resource-depleting bureaucratic heirerarchial institution run by pimps, fat-cats, and lawyers, and try doing something honest once in your life. I dare ya.

The 1st headline I hear as Canada sends the world leaders packin' after the 1 billion dollar G8/G20 summit this past weekend is that our country will become a supplier of Uranium to India. Now that's what I call change. If any of the volatile countries in the eastern world get a whiff of the stuff that makes a-bombs in the area - watch out! I guess if push comes to shove, Canada can always try to plead ignorance. Plus heaven knows we are dependent here on Indian immigrants to come and sustain our workforce with the declining Canadian population growth rate. CHANGE towards a more nuclear world is undesirable change. Change towards a more tolerant multi-cultural patchwork of Canadian pride is desirable change. But when this change comes at the cost of losing or replacing any of the historical attributes of what it means to be Canadian, I'm not so sure. Then again, Canadian history can prove to be pretty horrible as well.

The 2nd headline out of this big All-Important Billion Dollar Conference was about Women's rights/maternal health. Which happens to tie into everything that is needed for a positive change in this world, but especially with respect to the world population that could either plateau at 9 Billion or 14 Billion, depending on actions taken now. There have been enough studies for us to take action now to achieve the former. That's why Harper's hypocritical conditions suggested for this form of aid is especially unreasonable!! Let's get goin', World!!!

The 3rd and final headline I paid any attention to was about the riots. Well maybe these anarchists are the closest things we have to the most blatant form of civil disobedience we have out there screamin' for "change". True, most of this behaviour is totally unreasonable. But is there such a thing as "unreasonably necessary"? Doubt it. But One day there might be. These are just stepping stones for us getting to that point. The cynic in me says that anyone can be bought, at the cost of a variety of things: our children, our planet, our very own health. Paving over green zones and having McDonald's (again) for lunch while we let our kids be UNDER-educated in our system's schools is how we do this. If we could just change our focus. Our Priorities. Our lifestyles to really reasonable things like health, the environment, and the family, a more sustainable and enjoyable world would result. Guaranteed.

Below is a little flowchart (ch.76) that I created that ties in with "priorities" and the choices people make when it comes to any extra available money (if any). Since "changes" and "choices" are the 2 things that need to be realized early into this 21st Century, I thought I would pop it in with this blog.

Let's Get Extreme

Chapter 82: Let's Get Extreme!!!

(or: When Did You Become So Boring?)

Doing things that are extreme can be fun. They are often deemed by others to be "hardcore" or "deathly", thus bringing one's cool-0-meter to a an all new high. So for the people that care about things such as these, then NOT being afraid to have hobbies & interests that are considered extreme will likely become a beneficial/crucial part of your every day life.

The following are a few examples of extreme things that a person could do, if seeking to be the least bit non-conformist, or at the very least - a tad adventurous:

• Tattooing and piercing - get the neck tattoo. I hear spiderwebs are popular. Or the nipple ring. You too, ladies.
  
  
• Get Motorbiking. Cycling is truly more non-conformist, but that loud, raucous causing, 2-wheeled chopper will always be the epitome of rebel. Not to mention there is a degree of danger to it that screams "extreme", depending on, of course, which tattoo & piercing studio you go to.
  
  
• Go Sky Diving. This puts bungee jumping to shame. And let's face it: That helmet is wearing you for protection.
  
  
• Attend a G8/G20 summit. Bust some shit up. Try to not get arrested. Or do.
  
  

Being extreme will be closely associated with having a unique and inexplicable range of taste in things. He or she will take a great pleasure in a wide, wide spectrum of places, books, people, and things. The more polarized these interests are will be indicative of how truly A) out of his/her mind a person is or B) how confused he/she is about the priorities in his life. This spectrum of interests can include things like:

• Foods. Living the vegan/vegetarian life one month and then having nothing but The Cow the next. Eating banana peppers on tuna fish and peanut butter & ham sandwiches will help you to achieve this whole new level on the extreme-o-meter.
  
  
• Politics. Be a neo-ultraconservative greedy self-absorbed capitalist bastard, that actually cares about the environment (or says he does, anyways). In a more general sense, "Being Albertan but having Socialist Ideals" are 2 extremes that really make a person fairly unique. Think that former coke-head Tory MP: Rahim Jaffer.
  
  
• Ideals (of Freedom). Becoming an ignorant intellect requires that you spend some degree of time thinking about the world & all of its wonders and atrocities - and then become apathetic about it. Live in a blissful oblivion and love being footloose & carefree. Because Freedom can be a wonderful concept, especially if you believe that it exists at all and is not just another societal meme. In the meantime, pack your 2500 sq.ft. home with as many 56"-3D-LCD-HDTVs as you can afford and legitimize this excessive expense by buying yourself a solar panel and wearing fair trade organic "elephants need love too" t-shirt. Cuz believe it or not, kids: This is the world, the system, we live in. It's a self-propelled machine that we are all components of. And remember that "unless your free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!" as this component. Not to mention that subsistence living is even LESS fun than it sounds. Books take sooo long to read. Natural gas is an affordable commodity. And shopping at West Edmonton Mall is just soooooo much FUN!!!
  
  
• Music. The degree of separation between 90% of the music I listen to is outrageous. The most distinguishable differences of genres on my iPod could be classified as either melodic hardcore or Canadian folk music. These extremes are very diverse and really have no business being on the same mp3 player. Right now SNFU, Propagandhi, Pennywise, Bad Religion, and Screeching Weasel are on the playlist, along with Matthew Barber, Justin Rutledge, Neil Young, Ray LaMontagne, and David Gray. It's almost inconceivable. But it exists nevertheless. Extreme.
  
  
• Sex. Extreme sex. Hardcore SEX. Better than soft core after all! Any guy is pretty much wishing for this every hour of every day, so the second that he will find a woman that is willing to "submit" to anything a little bit more wild than the usual semi-pornographic plights is usually the moment that the guy is usually ready for marriage. At the same time, us idealistic sex-craving philanthropic chauvinistic metropolitan men may like to cry & scream about Female Liberation! and equal opportunity ...as long as it doesn't happen in our own bedroom. Or dungeon.
  
  
• Exercise. Excessive Exercise. Running marathons and loving a good cigarette afterward. Bench-pressing 3 times your body weight then picking up a six-pack on your way home. Playing hockey, but having more PIM than Ice Time. Oh. And don't forget about Crashed Ice. These things are extreme. Also, UFC is popular amongst kids these days, or so I hear.
  
  
• Seeing the World. Traveling to Africa. The Dark Continent. Where stereotypes and prejudice and mis-information runs rampant. Go there. Learn something. Come back. Teach something. God knows we are ignorant. When back at home, realize how much change can happen right outside your back door, so to speak. Having a good appreciation of your local community and its faults and good things can be enlightening too. Just. Get out there. Anywhere. Especially if you can't afford the airfare (or are too socially conscious about the environmental costs of air flight). There's always sailing...
  
  
• "Work". The last paradoxical/hypocritical suggestion I have regarding extreme lifestyle choices is giving yourself the opportunity to make conscious career decisions, inasmuch as having a thorough moral understanding of any implications of the "work" you are getting yourself involved with. Try: Working in a lumber yard while listing the Rainforest Action Network as a beneficiary in your will. Try: working in resource exploitation while "liking" the links that your "friend" Mike Hudema posts on his facebook profile. With your wages, buy a bike but keeping on commuting to work in your gas guzzler...
  

Without these things, a person tends to fall into the first circle of hell called Ennui. Others see him for what he is: a complacent, middle-aged working class office stooge with mortgage payments and mouths to feed and the rest of it. Apathy advances to a stage far beyond you ever thought possible in your younger years. Ideals fade away. And the positive re-enforcement allows one's sense of adventure to diminish as he falls deeper and deeper into the well of "routine work" and "just getting by". Hello shot gun barrel. Travel plans become a trip to your backyard patio after the fence gets painted and food becomes bland as you listen to the latest study on the Local News about salt being bad. Exercise is walking the dog and the motorbike turns into an SUV (hybrid? Yeah Right!). Or worse: mini-van. Sex is infrequent and fast. What you are left with is a few cd's from those exciting days that are fading from memory and perhaps a government that left you with a social support network that your mother-in-law deserves.

So my advice to you as I close out this blog:

Never grow up. Always go for the "bad" girl, eat lots of spicy food, and travel the globe as much as possible.

And if submitting to the expectations of our surrounding means
growing up
I'll try wholeheartedly to refuse

-satanic surfers

George Carlin does this all soo much better.

It takes two... doesn't it?

Chapter 57

It doesn't take much to get a reaction from most people by saying ludicrous or blasphemous or just plain stupid crap. And a guy can really earn himself a reputation by using his big yap in a repetitive fashion such that people really start to think: "Is this guy for real?!" With borderline common sense and a sliver of "knowing your audience", I find that I can really get away with saying some pretty wild stuff while still staying out of trouble. So when it comes to talking to members of the opposite sex who may not know me very well, I have to try & push the envelope a bit while taking care to not push things too TOO far. Especially early on.

But some girls are just so damn' difficult to talk to. You can be within 2m of them and feel the sexual tension between the two of you. And that's usually when your voice becomes completely stifled and lips totally parched. Blame the hot dry Alberta air if you want, but between the two of you, you both know that only relative humidity that matters is the relative humidity IN YOUR PANTS! (haha, made myself laugh)

It's pretty tough in asking out a girl. Especially when you happen to know that she is more likely than not way out of your league. But it still is just one of those things that just has to get done. And a guy has got to be careful or he may very well end up as "Just Friends" - and what guy really wants that?! Then again, some of the best long-term relationships - Hell, I'll say it: Marriages - are more likely to last when a deeper respect and friendship is in place between both parties from a very early stage.

Some girls that a guy asks out will turn out to be prissy conceited beotches. This is their shield. The shield that my confident charm and charismatic character help to penetrate.

Ha!

So what a guy really must figure out is whether the persistence, endurance, relentlessness, and (false) hope he is investing in will be worth it in the long run. Finding something more than just platonic respect in a companion. Keep on keeping on. Fool, give UP already! How long can a guy really cling on to a glimmer of a hope after all? And what if he invests in a significant amount of time persisting, enduring, provoking - all to just find out that she's, say, more into girls in the end! Bummer dude. Call it: character development.

I think what it comes down to in the end is The Height of the Bar, degree of intrigue she may offer, and to a lesser extent: alcohol tolerance. It would be nice if I had a clue in hell as to whether any of the investments made (quick-witted conversations, flattery, shaving) pay off at a much earlier time. Rather than finding out that she is seeing someone or is just exceptionally career-minded & has no time to waste on relationships/me. priorities, right? I think I might have dwelled on "priorities" once or twice through this blog of mine... Also, initiation is key. Wouldn't it be nice if she took the initiative? This seldom happens. And when it does, the guy is usually so incredibly thick the he doesn't even realize it whatsoever. Explicit Provoking. That is really the only answer. Thank you "facebook pokes" for opening up a whole new gateway of possibilities, as unseemly as they might be. So if the lack of initiative on her part is just a matter of the guy opening up his eyes and realizing what's happening - that's one thing! But if the impenetrable shield she has in place simply for the fact that she can't stand him (or her bar's set Just That Much Higher), well - that's another thing completely.

Scarlett Johannson is pretty.


Sidenote:

This blog is about having more than one person willing to invest in and build towards a more meaningful relationship, rather than just having the guy torment himself with aggravating relentless attempts at having a shot with someone he has no business having a shot with. That Said. I am going to try to say something that doesn't sound overly sensitive (for the Pisces I am) or overly critical of my friends or the Institution of the Roman Catholic Church.

All good Catholics, I would have thought, would be much more welcoming to non-Catholics than I ever saw growing up. Once an outsider, always an outsider. Unless you baptize, confirm, and go to church every Sunday? No thanks. But truly, there was a minuscule amount of inclusion through this institution. As above, it takes two parties to be willing to show an interest in each other if any sort of relationship is going to have a shot. The lack of willingness of the church and its followers to embrace - heck, even save a lost soul is a little bit underwhelming.

And further yet, as friends grow apart with time and distance, it is really very easy to go from changing your thinking to that friend being "someone you used to know". That's why I find it funny that more/better attempts aren't made - even between friends - to keep in touch about any goings-on that the other might find interesting. Way to go, pal! Ya know, I would have liked to go to that strip club with you guys, too!



Old Blogs Semi-Related:
http://eternalhappyness.blogspot.com/2008/04/wavelength.html
http://eternalhappyness.blogspot.com/2009/02/hole-filler.html

5 Simple Rules for Writing A Propagandhi Song (and becoming at least mildly successful).

1 - First and foremost, be sure to have excessive (but always appropriate) use of the F-word throughout each of the songs, even if it is at the end of the song and there is nothing left to do but just add a loud unadulterated and raw "F&#$!!!!".

2 - A healthy dose of satire is essential to a successful Propagandhi song. Denouncing anything corporate or industrial with plenty of ridicule and judgment is always a good bet.

3 - Try to come across as a passionate humanitarian that really "gets it" by writing songs that speak to local, regional, national, and international issues. Re-enforce this Global Citizen persona by listing non-fiction books about genocide or planetary destruction on your website and album sleeves, along with lists of web addresses for the wee teenies to check out with their newest i-phones. A few dystopian quotes from famous dead people may also help your cause. Better yet? Incorporate these quotes right into your songs.

4 - Come up with a reason (as reasonable as this reason may very well be) to become an expatriot. Re-think today's Canadian Values (of greed and pirateering) and compare them to values in other countries around the world. After a brief glimpse at this website I can tell you that the things on Canadians minds most of the times these days are sex-related, and although sex-related crimes and topics are totally heinous, remember that these problems are stemmed from a much deeper roots in the ways that we are raising our children and conforming to so much of the pop-culture bullshit that bombards us everywhere we go.

Canadians need to get a better idea of what there is to be so "nationalist" about, aside from the Winter Olympics, and a national sport where over-paid dumb jocks spend half of their season playing for 1 of 24 American-Based teams in their home arenas, while the 6 remaining Canadian teams spend any of their "off time" golfing in Phoenix or holidaying in Barcelona (when you miss playoffs especially). Aside from sport? I guess we have Celine Dion. Wait. Isn't she in Vegas? Shania? Switzerland? Bryan Adams?!?! Oh right! Justin Rutledge annnnnnd Propagandhi. Good bands. Hmmm...what else do we have... Healthcare. And the rocky mountains. Some of the Canadian landscape is pretty damn' terrific when we're not busy fucking it up.

5 - Never sell out and keep the songs for the kids and not for the labels to make a killing. So many times a label will tell you what to write and how to write it. Case in point: AFI was on Nitro til 2003 and have had pretty weird albums ever since then. I don't think Propagandhi will ever sell out.

Other Useful Tips For Writing a Propagandhi Song

I - Make sure the title of the song is sufficiently long like these classics:

"War Is Peace, Slavery Is Freedom, May All Your Interventions Be Humanitarian"
"Ordinary People Do Fucked-Up Things When Fucked up Things Become Ordinary"
"Stick the Fucking Flag Up Your Goddamn Ass, You Sonofabitch"

II - Use the words:

misery, love, indifference, poverty, suffering, disparity, repress, devastating, catastrophe, Jesus, church, FUCK, meat, machine, homophobe, capitalist, tragedy, solution.


III - Allow:

• 5-10% of the song to be filled with incomprehensible rage-filled fits of screaming
• 10-15% of the song to be filled with mad guitar shredding
• Allow room to be effing hilarious (not just over-the-top blasphemy/hyperbole/satire) when after all this song may very well reflect real fucking life more than you can ever imagine.
  

Now, click this and read:

We were all together in the pouring rain!
Solvents being passed around to dull the pain!
The air was choked with the dismal smell!
The reek of sadness and despair!
Minds fucked up beyond repair!


She said she just turned six.
She’s got some good jokes for a kid.
She’s working hard to avoid a woman bleeding from her teeth.
Her life goes on despite the fact
her mom sleeps fucked up on the cement.

She flashed a look, an image burnt into my mind!
I know that sinking feeling all too fucking well!
Shame! Frustration setting in!
Confusion that eats us inside out.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me!
I don’t know why she can’t wake up!”
Her life goes on despite the fact
Her mom lays fucked up on the cement.

It’s an ugly fucking world!

the incalculable effects have been calculated to you here today by the one and only:

Ch. 69

This is not what I signed up for...

There exists an air of arrogance within the engineering discipline. A sense of entitlement and self-righteousness that might be all too expectantly acceptable. I mean, who else can spend the time learning a whole other language and then using it to come up with the most intricate solutions to solve some of the world's most pressing problems. Like cleaning water. Or making electricity. Doctors and lawyers memorize Latin terminology and ... business grads? Well, they are all just capitalistic pigs with hearts of stone.

So, become an engineer. Or try to anyways. You can become a steward of society. Really, it's like the ultimate thankless service industry job. God knows that there is money in it, too. And for one year now, I have held my engineering degree while working as a box cutter, getting paid box cutter salaries.

In all honesty, it's not a bad job. Especially for a student working part-time, earning habit money and having few other expenses. At work, all you have to do is deal with a couple of ungracious or effing rude customers that come through the store from time to time and try to get along with your co-workers. The hardest part of that is getting over the condescending attitude of people that look down on box-cutters and realize that you are going to get paid well below your Earning Potential that you have hoped to be enjoying by now. Then again, living the good life of having minimal responsibilities & being accountable only to yourself is nothing to sneeze at. There's casual weekday drinking, affording to go out to shows, going on vacations, and the like. It's not all bad not having to worry about the pressures of a high-expectation engineering job.

But I hate it. It's a time-consumer and a head-do-er-inner. Every day that I cannot find a job I am actually interested in, is another day that I am not developing and using the skills that I went to school for, and not working towards that ever-important salary-booster called a P.Eng. I feel like it's eating into the best years of my life (although I know that in all honesty that those were between 1992 and 1996). In addition, this company - like many others - thrives on environmental devastation and corporate greed. It breaks your back and it eats your soul. Although, they did pay for me to get my teeth cleaned...

Everyone should have to go through it though. The service industry is atrocious and everywhere. Working in it gives the consumer a much better perspective of the hard work that goes into whatever commodity it is that's being sold. It also gives a person a reality check. Without it, you don't have as much of a clue about how nasty day-to-day interactions with some people can get. It makes you actually look at the cashier at the supermarket in the eye and say "thank-you" with a little bit more sincerity than you would otherwise. It will make you neater - no matter how neat you think you are, and it will help you watch exactly what kind and how big of a consumer you are. Especially when making service industry wages.

This wages thing blows my mind. To think that so much disparity exists between the different kinds of rich and the different kinds of poor in this world is just: GAH! We are all just people born into circumstance, after all. Next round you could be living in subsidized Projects Housing in Harlem or the slums of Bangladesh (surely, not only India and Africa have slums, hey?) Then there's the opposite extreme where even Edmonton Police are making upwards of $85K after only 5 years of service. "And then she became a cop." "Shut the fuck up!" I think in my next life I am going to become a successful rock star. But engineers really do alright too. Even Civil Grads, with no real experience! And ol' recession-proof Alberta, with all of it's Oilsands and industry needs these grads to help run projects!!! But I still can't get a job I want. Bastards!

Then again, I know I am not alone. At least one other engineer and one geophysicist I know are not working. Another mate with credits from NAIT, UofA, and GMCC is working at the bottle depot with no real aspirations to focus on a career in any of the areas he spent time studying in! Then the real motivated ones had jobs set before they were even graduated! I don't know how, aside from their good fortune, and to some extent, willingness to relocate.

If I go anywhere, it will have to be for something worth while. "Like a girl?!" "No, Ryan, not a girl." Well, we'll see. But a sweet gig where providing/treating water to people who would really appreciate it, or anything related to the environment would sure be sweet. If I could get a sweet deal like that, I wouldn't even care if my salary was double of what it was now, rather than triple, as it very well COULD be. Half it and send me to a well in Kenya, I would also be thrilled. And I'd probably be blogging about something more important like poverty, water resources , disparity & conflict or something!

My issues with not getting the work I want could be psychological. In that I am psychotic. I am complacent and apathetic and idiotic for not trying harder to get any fucking job that will help me use my degree. That, or perhaps employers just don't like me. Real possibility. What can a guy do?!

As intermediate box cutter, I am taking it for what it's worth as yet another stepping stone in character development. God knows I'm not enough of a character YET! There is nothing glamorous or prestigious about this job that gives me anything more than just that. One of the things that comes with a sweet-ass environmental engineering job (aside from the money & independent that it brings), is confidence in having/building relationships. A guy can feel a hell of a lot better about himself knowing that the girl that he is after won't laugh at him for being, say, a box cutter. Even with the prestige of an engineering job, I feel that the humility of the box cutter's realism will earn him bonus points with her. "Real Workin' Man" points, where blackberrying and e-mailing and sitting in the cushy office chair are out of the equation completely. One might even go as far as to call it "honest work". Then with that non-box cutter job and a real engineering job - she will immediately think to herself: "Oooh - Brains And Money. But when was the last time he washed that shirt?"

Alright, this is gonna have to do as I have to finish my 2nd beer and have to get up for work in just over 4 hours. I wonder what the Jobs section will look like in The Journal tomorrow...


ch. 80

Canadian Girls Are Amazing

It wasn't too long ago that I was singing along to an old Propagandhi song called "I'd Rather Be Flag Burning". But that is far from where I am today where all I feel is insurmountable pride and ... happiness for my country over the past 2 weeks of the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Coming in, I was more disappointed than shocked when news polls were saying how it's more important to Canadians to win a gold in Men's Hockey than finish with a high medals total overall. Well maybe that's just because Canadians weren't as optimistic as I was about Canada actually contending with the likes of America and Germany or Russia. Well guess who we have to thank for the overwhelming success at the gold medals so far: Amazing Canadian Women. Out of the 8 gold's received so far, 6 have been by the most incredible, talented, high-spirited, crazy-good lookin' women. Maelle Ricker kicked it off with a kickass sport: snowboard cross, which was fastly followed by Christine Nesbitt, Tessa Virtue, Kaillie Humphreys, Heather Moyse, a bunkload of hockey players headed by Hayley Wickenheiser, and finally - my favorite - Ashleigh McIvor.

So if it's not gold it's silver. Well for silver so far our Canadian Girls own 5 out of the 6 events including Kristina Groves (Jeremy's time is done, afterall) and the cutest of them all: Jenn Heil! (No, we haven't forgot about you, Jenn!) Another local lady, Jessica Gregg, has also made me proud to be from a country that has so many amazing girls!!!! (even if they are living in Missouri...)

Amazing, amazing, just endless amazing. Hell! Clara Hughes has earned herself something like 4 Winter Olympic medals and 2 Summer Olympic medals! If that's not a sign that our women are made out of something special I don't know what is.

The bronze? Well that's just a ridiculous story. 3 out of Canada's 3 bronze medals are worn by women. And included in that is Joannie Rochette. This champion had her mother up and die on her in the midst of the Olympic Games. And she still competed. How? God knows. But she did, and won a medal. And for that, she will forever be the ultimate female Canadian competitor. Well, in addition to those hockey players that crush the dreams of the Americans. That's pretty cool too.

Next up is Cheryl Bernard, cougar. I mean curler. She will own and it will be great. After that? Who knows, but I am hopeful for more speed skating, bobsleigh, and snowboard.

So! I guess what I am saying is that I am putting away the Russian Bride Catalogue for good. I don't know what it's gonna take for me to ever win the heart of one of these amazing Canadian girls that amaze me in soooo much in all that they do - okay - there are amazing ones that aren't Olympians, too. But to start, I think I am going to take up freestyle aerials.

My, My, My - My Edmonton Oilers

Right now I'm listening to the Oilers lose. 4 - 0. In the 2nd Period. This will make about 18 losses in their last 20 games or something. They went one game less than tying their longest LOSE streak ever and for the first time in 30 years have they lost a complete season series to the Frickin' Flames. Well what the heck is a guy to do?! I'm not gonna pretend to have all the answers or know where blame should be placed, but I do have an opinion about where the team has made a few mistakes. It all started more than 30 years ago...

Oil. what a word these days. Everyone hates to love it but needs it so much. Loving to hate it is something that is easier done by those extremist greenpeace environmentalists (yay) or those who have been directly affected by the impact of oil in a negative way. (Although, you can buy your health here in Alberta). Well, thirty years ago nothing was heard in the mainstream culture with regards to global warming or environmental impact of oilsands. How times have changed. If this is what the Oilers' founders anticipated, maybe they would have named our Oil Kings something like the PLANETEERS or something like that! Nowadays, players are told they are going to be sent to Latitude 53° - the Gateway to the North - The City of Champions - The Roughneck Capital of Canada* - OIL COUNTRY - and they think "God, I sure hope the fans are at least passionate about their hockey, cuz the most northern major city in Canada doesn't sound like much fun otherwise". That's assuming you are a hockey player that dislikes Kid Rock anthems after any rare goal that the Oilers happen to score.

So there you are. A (multi-)million dollar athlete. In a place you can't stand being. With one of the oldest rinks in the league and and the least creative if not god-awful Game jerseys that could have ever been conjured. Little do you know, Mr. Hockey Player, that 65% of your live audience isn't paying any attention to you whatsoever, but is rather neck deep in his 4th glass of Eight Dollar Molson Canadian Beer. This is assuming he isn't straddling his girlfriend with his tongue down his throat in hopes of grabbing the attention of the "Cisn Country Smooch Cam" to make it on the jumbo-tron, for all of our most shameless perversions.

These are our fans. Funny thing, those abandoning band wagoners. Even if it wasn't 4 years since this same team made it to the 7th game in the Stanley Cup Finals. We would riot on Whyte with the passion that we had for our players. Back then, we could even attract the likes of Chris Pronger to show up in a real "hockey town". What's happened Mr. Katz? I'll tell you what happened. Cal Nichols and Steve Tambellini saw opportunity to make a quick buck to buy that second or third vacation home. Now, instead of having a well-balanced group of investors in which would decide the direction of the team, one man - a drug-pusher - will make those decisions. Dictatorship. The elusive and quirky, owner Daryl Katz, chooses to make his public announcements via texting?!?! and then have the said text messages not even be true. MacT IS going anywhere. Now, this drughappy oddball is even selling his drug products in baskets in the Oilers Giftshops inside of Rexall Place. Hand sanitizers, bottled water, headpills are a few of the products you could be indulging in when feeling uneasy and/or nauseated halfway through the 2nd Period. All in a neatly packed basket.


I had high hopes going into this season. We had the return of our favourite little twerp-hero, Mike Comrie who was going to redeem himself and prove that he is just not a total waste of space. "AhhhCHU!" That was his barbie doll girlfriend sneezing on him. Hilary Duff didn't like the idea of spending all this time in the Great White North so she decided to make him sick. This way, she could have them doing "couples things" together like him learning tap and dance steps in Radio City Music Hall, from her latest pop hit. It's very true that a woman can put a spell on a guy and he will do anything she wishes, but even so, it's hard to not be disappointed when all that a city wanted was for him to come and try to salvage some of what was once good of the club he represents - not to mention his own reputation.

Speaking of Big Babies. Penner. Last season this dumb jock was simply unwilling to suck it up and perform for a coach that he didn't see eye-to-eye with. How Professional. Then all of a sudden, the dude/douche (<-- can't decide) says he's all reformed and re-dedicated and eating healthier and doing the right things to be mentally into the game this year. Welllllll so much for that. Sure, his stats aren't terrible (45pts in 57g) but he is just one of those guys that you can watch not trying when it doesn't suit him. That reminds me of some of my own teammates back from the good ol' days...

Let's stop ragging on the individual players for a brief moment. The OILERS as a collective unit have had a hard time of it. First off: No H1N1 shot. Well jeepers, boys! Aren't you supposed to be the fittest, healthiest members of society who get paid millions to play a kids game?! With all that money, how do you excuse yourself for living the kind of lifestyle that enables you to get sick? Is it toooo much travel, being stuck waaay up here on the 53rd parallel and having so many 2 to 4 hour flights? Is it the $97,000 New Year's Eve Parties and hangovers that follow?! Not to mention that the H1N1 shot that got everyone in such a huff has stuff in it that informed individuals try to stay away from! But nevertheless you cry about it when your line-up is flu-stricken and missing games but the Flames are set, with Alberta and all of it's Healthcare Wonders. Just quit sharing Comrie's girlfriend. Oops. A bit far? Maybe. But then again, maybe if Pronger could keep it in his pants in this cold, cold climate, then maybe his wife wouldn't force him out of the no-trade clause and in to marriage counselling, and we would all still be seeing a team with at least one defenceman. If none of the above, is it the puke-practices run by your new coach Patty Daddy and him canceling your team break trip of golfing in Palm Springs?

Also, people fail to realize that the Edmonton Oilers organization has established itself as a player development team. The second that an 18 or 20 year old gets signed and prove themself as a player with potential and perhaps have a couple of big seasons, they will bugger off elsewhere. That's why Ryan Smyth was so well liked. He didn't leave. The bigger names that did ever play a season or two with the Oil must have had some pretty good agents to convince them to get out of Dodge before they get old and useless (unlike Staios' agent). On the flip side, skilled players that come in to the organization seem to lose their talent. I suppose when Hemsky's not getting nailed trying to make that pretty pass to our newest (hopeful) goal scorer, say, O'Sullivan, then we don't really have much left in ways of getting any offence generated, regardless of the skilled forwards that have come and gone.

Alright. So let's just pound out a few names here that, regardless of whether you like them or not, would be welcome additions to the team at this stage of the game, if we were able to retain them...

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Whitney, Dvorak, Torres, Weight, Guerin, Marchant!!, Smith, Arnott, Peca, Sykora, Lupul, Laraque!!!, and even Poti, Roloson & Markannen & Garon... Cujo (nahhh)...

Don't those names sound better than:

Oldman Staios, Dumby Head Moreau, What's Eating Matthew Gilbert, Horrible Horcoff, Hemorrhaging Hemsky, Goofy Grebeshkov, or Lubomir the Lubo'assholio?

I think so...

Lastly, leadership. Ethan Moreau. At the turn of the Century I would have loved an #18 Moreau jersey. He was a gritty checker who would drop the gloves and pound out thunderous mid-ice hits. Now he's old, slow, and doesn't seem to care anymore. Maybe he got sad when Smyth left. I don't know. But he's certainly nowhere near to being what a team needs from a leader. They would be much better off naming O'Sullivan, or better yet: Potulny the captain.

Annnnnd coaching.

Even though Craig MacTavish failed to get his boys into the playoffs 5 out of 8 times, he didn't do it not for want of trying. The years he did get us in always made for an exciting (albeit short) playoffs. And on average his team finished with 87 points over the MacT reign. And one of those times got us the Western Conference Championship. Right now the Oilers have 42 points. On pace for 47. All at the hands of some Eastern Pensioner - Pat Quinn.

Sure, say what you want. "But Pat Quinn's from Edmonton" and "Ohhh I have no more respect for anyone than Pat Quinn." Why? This guy got sent here cuz the price was right and he thought that his old-school ways could redeem this hurtin' team from the wild west. Well, blood's thicker than water, Old Man. And MacT was an Oiler. This homegrown passion and love is the reason why he would try year after year to make his boys win games, even if that meant benching lazy ouffs like Penner. He knew their capabilities and faults better than anyone and coped the best he could given the way the budgets were set up through til the Players Strike.

I think the Oilers would be a lot better off if this Old Man went and retired to Florida (take with Don Cherry with him) and we were rid of the coach that did sooo much for the Toronto Maple Leafs for 7 seasons??! The ultimate failure of Pat Quinn was when he went on the air and was recorded as saying "I've never been this embarrassed". This is your mess, fella. Even more than Katz's or Penner's or anyone's. You signed up to fix us, so quit crying about your circumstances or just shut up and go do some illegal trading with Pocklington in Disneyland.

An organization that is being run as poorly as this doesn't deserve as new arena either, regardless of how old it might be. The Edmonton North East is where the history is and where it needs to remain. Now let's go play some golf.


*Calgary is the Redneck Capital of Canada

p.s. Deslauriers is okay. Give the kid a break. Khabibulin is the disappointment (and 37 year old mistake - isn't Roloson being so old the reason why we wanted to get rid if him??) If I had it my way, we would have kept Mathieu Garon and Jussi Makkannen where I truly believe they both would have had much better luck in subsequent seasons.

p.p.s. I don't understand for the life of me why Rod Phillips won't call Lubomir Visnovsky "Lubo" when he called Boris Mironov "Bobo" for sooo many years!

The Best of Millwoods (Is Better Than What You May Think)

Ch. 62

So many people love to rag on Millwoods. They love to talk about the gangs, the muggings, the street drugs, sexual assaults at transit centers, and the opium busts, which may even lead to the question of what Canadian - Edmontonian - soldiers are doing in Afghanistan. They love to count how many minority groups are within their classrooms and how many white trash rednecks live within walking distance of the Millwoods town center in this place that is often referred to as "ghetto" or "the hood".

But I am here to tell you that this is really truly an amazing community, as communities go. The many minority groups have sooo much to offer and really, it's about time that we start appreciating all of our multi-cultural wonderfulness that really exists within that approximate 40 square kilometers of green spaces, golf courses, schools, dog parks, and even a water park. And as for the "white trash rednecks"? Well, they are not just in Millwoods. Of this, I am certain. Edmonton is falls into the jurisdiction of Northern Alberta, afterall. And really, the schools in the area are held to pretty high standards, as far as I have seen­ª. Not to mention that having schools that taught a different (i.e. better) curriculum is part of our jobs in electing a government with the values that reflect our own. (that's been blogged about already i am sure) Gangs are only of concern if you are in a gang and drug deals are usually done conspiculously enough such that your every day Millwoodsonian will not notice.


But what's so grande about this place I call home besides it having a moderately priced golf course and a mall with an HMV? And really, a much exaggerated reputation for being a bad place? Well I'll tell ya!

For 25 years now, I have been experiencing the grandeur lifestyle in this place called Millwoods. For my first 5 or 6 years, life was golden! Short walks to the local store, playground, or playmates. We would run around shooting water guns or nerf guns at eachother well into any given evening, with absolutely zero fear of being abducted or attacked. Between my ~7th and ~13th years, a lot of time was spent at the Millwoods Recreation Center - a building BUILT by the community. (Not like anywhere else now, where everyone wants new buildings and ask someone else to pay for it!!) In this rec centre, I remember my first jump in the dive tank, swing off the tarzan rope and step I took on the hockey rink. Later on, this rink would become the place where I would score hat tricks against the Millwoods Team in their own building (Go Knights!) and this pool would be where I would show off doing 200m swims in the "advanced" group of students in the high school co-ed gym class. I even remember that sign that said "athletes need fresh air" and the day that the city went "smoke-free" and it wasn't as bad walking through the players entrance to the dressing rooms anymore on the way out from the building. This focal point of Millwoods really brought together the community and allowed young families to let their children to interact and learn from eachother.


The freedoms in Canada are often highlighted in Millwoods, especially with all of its cultural diversity. I must have been about in grade 3 or 4 when I first noticed this. But it wasn't til Junior High til I realized that for me to learn some Tagalog was actually a legitimate possibility. And then only about a few months ago I saw children "playing" with actual sabres/swords/long blades of some sort in a church/temp/e parking lot that was obviously practice for some religious thing. Cool. In Millwoods, a person can where what they want and go where they want wearing that feeling reasonably safe. I just finished watching Mississippi Burning so I guess I am just trying to say that despite all of our short-comings when it comes to acceptance and prejudice - here in Millwoods - you can at least express yourself for the Millwoods Hero you are!!

On another occasion, there was a blackout. It must have lasted about 45 minutes to an hour. The whole community became unplugged from their electronic vices and got plugged right back in to the community. It was sunset and the whole of Millwoods was outside. This is no exaggeration. It was really incredible to see so many dogs for walks and just friendly greetings as people passed by each other.

The stores are pretty great in mdot. For starters, Sobeys has always produced an amazing staff of deli-workers. Namely, Heather & Heather. (although there are others!) Who can ask for anything more?!?! It's tragic, really, but with the JIT servicing & the Big Box Stores & globalization in general, I am finding myself traveling out to the new superstore who actually has much more reasonable prices. When I have to, the MWTC Safeway is actually not the worst thing, because at least then, I can see my favorite security guard in all of Edmonton. You know the guy I'm talking about if you live in millwoods!! But I will always love my Sobeys girls. The 2nd best place to spend money in millwoods is @ the 3 or 4 year old Dairy Queen in 23rd. Although, we have some pretty interesting pubs too...

This summer I hung out at the MWTC parking lot on another occasion. I went to a DRIVE IN!! They were showing the movie Up! so I drove down there with a friend and some snacks and had a pretty good time!! Millwoods has it all!!!

Our elected officials are con artists and I hate all politicians and think they are all corrupt. NEVERTHELESS, my old bus driver, Amarjeet Sohi is doing what he can to represent his electorate. This Millwoods councilor is not afraid to go in front of cameras & actually speak an opinion or idea - whereas David the Fat Ass Thiele - does nothing but sit on his ass & blackberry the shit out of his endless days on the city's payroll whether the council is sitting or not. They both showed up for the Conservative MP, Mike Lake's, pancake breakfast though. Lake represents Millwoods but really, he's just another back-bencher that keeps another seat from another party while desperately trying to use any political clout to bring attention to Autism, which his son happens to have. So yeah! Millwoods!! Pancake Breakfasts!!! Party on!!! Even though, you had to ask the conservative line cooks for a second pancake to be flipped onto your plate. I wonder how many pancakes Thiele ate? More than Benito cuz the PC-MLA was a no-show.

My Edmonton Public Library. What can I even say?? She and I have been going steady now for about 10 years. Before that, we were less frequent sweethearts, but now, our relationship is stronger than ever and I love her so. I can't wait to see her next week. I think she has something there waiting for me. I only ever cheated on her when I was @ Grant MacEwan and snuck around with her sister downtown. Shhh. Don't tell.


The timely release of this blog comes following a recent meeting regarding the fate of Graunke Park (on 50th & 34th). This green space is a hot spot for kids to "have a good time" - use your imagination. So one of the things they are doing now is actually trying to revitalize it. This might include incorporating kids from the area schools to clean it up, 55+ groups to maintain it, and a whole bunch more of us involved community members to have a vision and insight of how to make it better. Maybe next time I will even go to the meeting! As much as I want to travel and see the world and LEAVE EDMONTON for the mean time, I think that some of my time could be invested in helping to shape a part of a community that has truly shaped me over the past quarter century.

Who Sold Out Now?

Ch 24.

I have been enjoying various degrees of punk rock for about 10 years now. And over this time, I really saw a ton of changes to the scene - a scene that had supposedly been dead for 20 years. I saw Greenday "evolve", the Offspring ... turn old. I saw Rise Against fall within radio-friendly territory, and Jim Lindberg from Pennywise yell @ a complacent, lazy group of Calgarians to get off their lazy stoner asses @ warped tour and to start moving, and recently announce his retirement from the band. I've seen AFI go from "east bay hardcore" to "emo artsy vegans" and Poison the Well - not change at all. Gob's done its best to keep Canadian pop punk alive, just as SNFU and DOA has done amazing at keeping the old school 80s scene alive through constant touring and shows. The hardcore scene was tangibly kept alive by a recent North American tour that had a selection of 10 bands play shows for "the scene" for $10, although only about 3 or 4 out of the 10 bands were "famous" in the underground world of hardcore.

So with the many types of punk shows I have seen over the past 10 years, the fact remains: a lot have seriously sold out. You may find it difficult to blame these guys who invest soo much into their music and really hardly reap any rewards. But a band with a name like "Rise Against" - well gee, I guess I just expected more from the Chicago foursome from a philosophical perspective. Their music is and was great. But the songs definately changed. Songs like "Halfway There" and "Alive and Well" are a far cry from any of the ballads that you would hear on their most recent radio releases, and the band's name is simply just too anti-establishment tor them to ever become as successful as they have. To me, the words "rise against" stated as generally as that would mean first and foremost: "count me out from media control" and "the system doesn't work so leave me out of it". This is not how the band proceeded, despite the many PETA flyers available at most of their shows.

But that's nothing compared to that mascara-wearing goth-like macho-man, M Shadows. Avenged Sevenfold's arrogance, I think, made them go from one of the most promising hardcore acts of the 21st Century to one of the biggest let downs to those really living their lives in the shadows. Too much fame, way too fast. A7X is like the Disney product Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan, where too much investment and expectations from too young an age (released 1st album when they were in highschool) had completely spoiled the band. (But 2 great albums, nevertheless) (And the bat skull is pretty cool too).

Similar fad bands got popular real quick, taking this tough-guy hardcore approach to their music, only to be losing every aspect of that persona only a short time later. Atreyu - what the hell happened? Did I hear you on sonic about a year ago??? My Chemical Romance wasn't ever as tough, but they definitely road the coattails of similar bands that had money being poured into their marketing, resulting in more and more radio-friendly hits. MCR became the epitome of sellout with their sadistic death-cult, pop-friendly made-for-radio hits. Maybe they took some tips off of Billie Joe Armstrong when they toured with Green Day (black eyeliner and a hair stylist on the tour bus)... If you are unfamiliar with punk music but have ever heard "Drag Me Down" and "Paralyzer" by Finger 11, released maybe 8 years later, you will know exactly what I am talking about with respect to how a band can go from passionate and cutting edge to formulaic and dull.

The respectable thing to do when your band is getting bored of reproducing the same ol' shit is to quit and try to re-invent yourself in a new light. Tsunami Bomb, Good Riddance, Satanic Surfers, and Minor Threat are the first few that come to mind where members of the band have gone to extensive lengths to see if The Action Design, Only Crime, Enemy Alliance, and Fugazi (respectively) can do well. If ending the band is out of the question, and artsy "expansion" or creating "concept albums" or "progressive musicianship" is what you want to be recognized for, chances are, you really are more of a capitalist bastard than a lover of music and art. Otherwise you'd do what the bands I mentioned did and not fear losing your name. and any previous success attached to it. "Happiness in America equals dollar signs", this is true after all.


Death By Stereo. They put on endless free shows in southern California but sell everything imaginable to make money. Their products include (but certainly aren't limited to) key chains and condoms, belt buckles and thongs, stickers and skate decks. I purchased a $5 wrist band and a ball cap in 2005, but there was 1 dollar beer in the parking lot of the daycare/community hall that they played at - for a 12 dollar show. I think that dbs represents the socal scene, for all of its best and its worst, and I think that the band would seriously benefit from spending some time in Canada, or maybe NYC. Just get out of Orange County. (I get to pick up their newest album from HMV on Friday for $12.99!)

H20, Propagandhi, Bad Religion are continuing to keep it smart. They don't over-indulge. And when they do produce and perform it is always worth the wait. Guttermouth's singer Mark Adkins is a shameless, but sarcastic capitalist, who, I think "cares" more than he lets on. Mark Unseen obviously cares, and has been showing it since he started singing for the band in 2003.

The Unseen may be take the name of one of its members, but it is not named for that member. To me, those self-titled artists were always easy to dislike. They were never in punk (AWK, maybe), as that would come across as a less egalitarian way of distributing the success or sharing the blame. I think Matthew Good was the 1st one I was aware about who even went as far to "lose" his band. (MGB became just Matthew Good). The arrogance involved to name 3 or more people making music after yourself always bewildered me. Henry Rollins rocked his way out of Black Flag and went on to "spoken word tours" at venues like the Winspear - but nevertheless, he must be credited for a lot of his DIY work in the 80s. It's just my opinion that Jello Biafra did the same thing, but better, as he took leave from the Dead Kennedys. BUT NOW THAT I AM OLDER, I am actually okay with bands named after the singer! Artists with unique styles like Jeremy Fisher, Justin Rutledge, Jill Barber, Luke Doucet, Melissa McLelland, or Elliott Brood are simply taking credit for their incredible musicianship - say, a 6 string guitar - and amazing singing voice. With that, they offer up very enjoyable entertainment and seek no excessive monetary rewards - it's usually more about the music with these "folk" musicians than anything. They realize their odds of becoming a Bryan Adams, Sarah McLaughlin, Neil Young, Shania, or Celine are just as good as your odds are at making the NHL or becoming a neurosurgeon. But something tells me the Jim Lindberg Experience wouldn't have taken off nearly as well as a band named after the psycho killer clown created by Stephen King.

Check one, two
The plow that broke the plains
We as humans destroy everything,
Well, there's limits to the land
Left the resistance and the monkey wrenchin' cause money rules again
Life is easier when your bills are paid,
You finished studies,
Masters degree
Now consulting development companies,
Who sold out now?
Who sold out now?

Sixteen years old and live at home
In front your friends calling out at shows,
You left the scene cause your new girlfriend told you so,
Freaked out on X at some rave or techno,
Money rules again
Distro circus at every show,
I came to support these tourin' bands and nothing's free,
Pay my ticket at the door,
Who sold out now?
Who sold out now?

Constant complaining makes my ears ring
I care about hardcore but I hate the scene

The plow that broke the plains
We as humans abuse every way,
There's limits to me, friend
What happened to the brotherhood we shared,
Well, money rules again
I'll give you anything if you just ask,
Hung yourself from your own rope
I count my loss and just walk away,
Who sold out now?
Who sold out now? (3x)

-ignite

Grind, Baby, Grind!

grind, baby, grind.

Last night there was a party. I don't remember much about it. All I remember is that there were a lot of things flowing, least of which was alcohol. Grossed out yet? It gets worse. Or better. Depending on which way you like to play.

shame.

Alright, well maybe we'll not even go there. But maybe I can still pump my point across to you without being exceptionally distasteful. (Maybe I can't!) Today's problem (most days have problems) lies in the matter of fact that people are shameless. I am a person. Therefore I am shameless. The difference being that I realize this, and I know where to draw the line so as to not become shameful.

Check that. I am ashamed about many things, but most of these dastardly deeds are things that likely do more harm to myself than any other person. And really, in the whole scheme of things, I like to tell myself that I am really not that bad of a person - most of the time. It's true that I have some bad ideas involving you & me, but more likely than not, my conservative/restrained upbringing will shine through and I will behave.

but something that feels this damn' good couldn't be all that bad... could it?

Sex is all around us. There's just no escaping it. After all, each of our god's want us all to pro-create so that we can perpetuate these civilizations that are filled with soo much happiness and peace. So even despite Chinese population control ideas, philosophies on freedom an individual rights, and problems associated with a population explosion, sex still dominates.

But the way it's done kinda disgusts me. If you've ever picked up a copy of Vue Weekly of SEE magazine and peaked at any of the articles/ads in the last few pages, you shouldn't be shocked to be reading about some freaky new problem/product/service that a person is buying, selling, or trying to heal. But besides the obvious things like media-produced sex in music, television, or the internet, one of the most unsettling things to ever see is a friend or acquaintance getting it on to any various degree: A. in person, B. in their facebook pictures, C. when they are already in a relationship, and D. with a little sister. People are FREAKY! (Thank God!/Get A Room!) I hardly even know how to react to some of the stuff I seen/have done myself over the years. All I know is that it can be some of the most incredibly good or bad times a person will have on their time on earth, depending on each situation. And you freaks out there (I may or may not include myself in this group), please, please, just do what you can to stay away from people in relationships, and your buddy's little sister. Especially if you do not have the self-control to keep your sexy ways off of facebook. ESPECIALLY if your freaky ways out-do the less freaky ways of most other people.

alcohol.

$5.75 a bottle? You must be kidding me. But with the promise of forty ounces to freedom, sometimes it just must be worth the price, eh? Next thing you know it, you are watching your friend from school or work grinding down on some random guy on the dance floor with techno beats blaring in the background. You feel sorry for her boyfriend/fiance or whatever, who's working out of town, but you also feel kinda like you should be the one that this girl should be "dancing" with - but only if you were a little more wasted... The saddest part of this is that you are in fact much to sober to forget about her and everything you are seeing and just go home to sleep to forget about it, but just a little too drunk to start crying over the whole unfortunate situation. The remedy? Have one more drink and take the next girl home.

Alcohol serves as an ultimate tool for any public situation: it's an excuse for an easy hook-up, a defense for acting like a total ass, a reason to be belligerent and piss on cars in parking lots (I guess this falls under "total ass"). It allows you to get away with being a total pervert or a total slut. And in the end, we have a real mess. We have 2 drunken slobs mildly attracted to eachother, fucking. I want to buy her a glass of merlot or shiraz sooo bad right now!

jelousy.

More likely than not, this blog would not even had been published if I had a few more pictures of an incredibly beautiful girl like my ex with her tongue pressed up against my neck, circling the internet. But at the same time, that stuff really isn't all that appropriate for anyone now is it? I mean, amateur porn has to start somewhere after all, right? And that stuff can spiral out of control like nobody's business. So out of this bitter jelousy, I support the idea of keeping it in the bedroom (or behind closed doors, at least!) Cameras are everywhere nowadays anyways, and as a result, "sex" has become mainstream, sort of like tattoos - everyone has one, and everyone likes to show it off! So really - when I do find that 1 person who is 'in' to videography, that tape shall forever remain in a safety deposit box. Unless the price is right.

money.

Money buys sex. This is the most horrible side of things. The 2008 Liam Neeson movie, "Taken" shows the darkest side of this. It goes a little beyond buying her that glass of wine. It shows how the most rich & powerful people in the world can exploit young women. It is really a sickening reality. And whenever you hear about good times in Thailand, for example, you think "whuh-ohh, red-flag"!
CBC aired this report last weekend. It is somewhat disturbing but nothing I haven't already heard of. http://www.cbc.ca/sunday/2009/08/081609_8.html

in conclusion.

Steve Carrell did a great job of depicting a man who lived is whole youth without getting any action in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Although this story may be a bit far-fetched, the premise is still very reasonable, as to how a guy could really handle things differently in a sex-crazed world. Both sexes are to blame, even though the CBC report above seems to take a different stance. Both sexes deserve the right to free themselves from this atrocity called life with alcohol, and until we start realizing the value in money & how it might be used to make ourselves feel better by creating a better world, we will continue to buy ourselves a ticket into getting laid - that ultimate ticket to a temporary escape. We will feel the shame, until we get sooo predispositioned that this is in fact normal behaviour. Then negative feedback cycles will then just compound the problem. And this includes our exposure to others "at it", which in effect creates various degrees of jelousy. Tolerance, restraint, shame, and respect are the most important concepts that we need to really appreciate if we want to get away from a sex-crazed world, where even a dance floor can turn into something...wet.

This was chapter 21. Let me go buy you a drink.