I can't help but feel sometimes that I am setting myself up for failure. Total, epic, and complete. Yet at the same time, I don't see how I can process incoming information any different (i.e. with a more open mind) than I am already doing. Time after time, things in my life seem to happen. Strategically random. Seemingly significant. But then maybe to someone else, they wouldn't be symbolic or substantial in any way at all. Tonight it happened again only 3 times. Once while watching TV, the other time: attempting to buy concert tickets for social distortion, and once again when I was roaming churchill square on the search for good eats. In the past week, I've been hit with a pretty decent sized whack of similar weird things that just happen to resonate with me. Am I just being ridiculous? Am I seeing stuff when there is really nothing there to see? Who knows. All I know is that Momentary Relapse by Choke just happened to come on as I start to wrap up this blog. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. I hope there is a difference in believing in fate and having endless (in)significant? coincidences go on throughout my 25 years on this planet. I hope there's not more that I should be doing that could reinforce my fate (there most likely is), rather than just watching my life piss away from not reacting more drastically, significantly to any of these weird little moments that just keep happening to me.
Gears turning inside
Turn over and over
And I ponder for hours
Everything means more these days
Good friends remain
Fuel the will to recover
Tears that slowly dissipate
I'll bear this weight no more
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