What can I even say? Besides the fact that I am now absolutely positive that there is only one person on this side of the earth who absolutely melts my heart. My knees shake and my voice trembles whenever I am within six feet of her. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. It's been this way with no other woman that I have been the least bit close to. The air becomes drier than air in the sahara when the sun's at its highest. I feel chills but my temple beads with sweat droplets and I know in the back of my mind that every single one of my flaws has become a million times worse. But I can't even think of wiping the booger that is hanging from the tip of my nose or even trying to suppress the alfalfa-style cowlick at the back of my head, as I am too busy being absolutley mezmerized by her. Luckily, I didn't fall down when tripping over my own shoelaces that don't seem to ever stay done up. Or maybe I did, but I was just in such an oblivious stuporous state, that I didn't even notice. Her smile is so warm and genuine that I can't help to believe that she's actually even enjoying the random retarded nothingness of sentences stringed together that I'm pitching to her. She listens and tries soo incredibly hard to comprehend what I might be trying to say. But her angel eyes look into mine and my heart is in my throat and it's all I can do to not look down at my un-tied shoes. Those penetrating yet soft blue eyes remind me of the southern carribean sea. I don't know if it's because of their endless depth, of their beautiful colour, or the way they sparkle even when the sun's not there. They seem to look deep past mine as if trying to find something deeper and more substantial than my semi-dirty blue jeans and my somewhat wrinkled t-shirt. Her long brown hair dangles modestly in a windless evening but still shines - even when the sun's not there. It smells like something sweeter than roses and fresher than rain. I can smell it from a mile away. But the distance between us usually more like 2 miles - what might as well be 20 thousand.
Perhaps the most beautiful thing about her is her spirit. Her soul, passion, and heart. It radiates from her and energizes me. It makes me feel like I can conquer the world and the universe, too. Her drive & focus to become the change we need in this world today inspires me to want to become the man who can stand by her side and change this world together.
So I work at it. Little by little, bit by bit. I talk a lot about priorities and time and what a person should be doing with their life. I try to act on those, with getting as undistracted or disheartened as possible. It's hard though. Knowing that there is truly an angel on earth but being soooo far removed from anything this absolutely perfect is somewhat hard to take. I will not give up though. I will try my damndest to be her lobster. If only I don't get eaten up first.